Do You Take Vacations Without Your Kids?

Recently we took our first vacation without our kids since before our son was born 3 years ago.  It was our 10th wedding anniversary, and my husband wanted to celebrate.  He wanted to go to Grand Cayman and go diving (which we haven't done in 8 years).  To be fair, I wanted to celebrate, too.  I even wanted to go diving, too, but the thought of figuring out the logistics of making sure everything was taken care of so that we could leave for 7 days seemed very overwhelming.

What's the dilemma you ask?  Well, let me tell you it takes a village to let mommy and daddy go away.

1.  We had to find a caretaker for our daughter here, so she could stay at home and go to school.

• My parents couldn't do this, because my dad still works.  So we ended up using my mother-in-law, who has never taken care of our daughter for more than 2 hours previously.  Partially because of trust and partially because of her interest.  But needless to say, this was a big leap of faith that required a lot of preparation.  We had trial runs.  She practiced taking our daughter to school and picking her up at the bus stop.  We had longer babysitting stints.  Nana took our daughter on outings.  All so our daughter (well, and us, too) would trust that Nana was prepared.  We created a daily checklist of everything that had to be done each day to care for our daughter, the animals, and the house.  We created manuals to operate all of the technology in our house.  We created a phone list of everyone under the sun who might be of help if something went wrong.  Seriously.  We did all of that.  But it gave everyone peace of mind.

2.  Our solution to the first problem, led us to another dilemma.  How can we ensure our highly sensitive daughter doesn't feel abandoned?  This one weighed on me a lot.  I could just picture our daughter in tears calling us every night saying she wanted us to come home.  Ugghh.  That would not be relaxing.:)

• We needed Nana to drive our daughter to my parents house for the weekend so our daughter could be with her brother and participate in Camp Grandmama and Granddad, too.
• We left small gifts and love notes for her to open everyday, so she would know we were thinking of her.
• We made sure her teacher knew what was happening that week, so she could be prepared for our daughter's emotional stress.
• We made sure Nana was SUPER prepared, so that our daughter never doubted Nana.
• Nana planned fun activities for the two of them every night.  I think they largely included eating McDonald's and shopping at Target, but hey, everyone seemed to have fun.

3.  We had to take care of everything else.

• Oh yeah - our son.  We had to get him to Grandmama and Granddad's house 200 miles away.
• Jobs
• Family businesses
• Pet Sitter
• Diver refresher course
• Travel preparations

When I thought about everything in my head, I thought it seemed like too much work and too emotionally overwhelming to have a few days of vacation.  Truthfully, I agreed to the trip because I really thought there was about a 50% chance of my mother-in-law flaking and I wouldn't have to figure everything out. 

But as the trip got closer, it looked like it was really going to happen.  And you know what?  It did happen!  And...everything went smoothly.  Everyone lived.  The trip was great.  I highly recommend Grand Cayman by the way.  And our daughter didn't even want to talk to use while we were gone - not because she was mad, but because she was too interested in other things to talk to mommy and daddy.  It really did all seem like a small miracle.  

And just as importantly, my husband and I had a great time.  We reconnected and recuperated.  We got to to adult things - Like hang out at a swim up bar, sleep past 7:00 am, live on a spontaneous, flexible schedule, read a book, eat seafood for every meal, oh and the list could go on.  

There are a few things I learned from this experience:

1.  Our marriage and relationship deserved the work that went into this trip.  At this stage, it is an effort to get alone time, but the effort is critical.  I get that now.  Vacations probably won't seem carefree again for at least 16 years, so I better get used to this.

2.  I gained a deeper trust in our family.  I am frequently known to be a control freak and this trip took a big leap of faith.  Now I know I can count on my family members and kids to help out more.  They all took one for the team, and they did a great job!

3.  It will be easier the next time.  I'm not ready to do this again tomorrow, but I know the next time we do this, it will be much easier.  So that means we can still take couple trips without the kids occasionally, and that is awesome!