Last Minute Holiday Decorating Ideas

Okay, so your family will be at your house in 24 hours.  You have a tree and a wreath, but that's all.  You don't have the time or energy to go shopping for more decorations but you still wish the house looked more festive.  Here are 5 simple ideas to make the house look more festive with items you already have!

1.  Hang ornaments from your dining room chandelier or light fixture.


2.  Wrap garlands around your curtain rods.


3.  Place ornaments on candle holders or candle sticks.



4.  Fill jars, vases, or anything clear glass with peppermints.



5.  Fill vases with ornaments



Voila!  You could probably do all of these in less than an hour.  Happy decorating!

Letting Your Kids Be Who They Are

As a parent, I have found myself genuinely surprised how much harder it is to just let your kids be themselves...especially children who are the same gender as you.  As the child, it seems so obvious.  Why can't your parents just encourage and support you the way you are?  Why are they so selfish?

Suddenly you become a parent and you find your fears and concerns about your child's future getting in the way of just letting them be them.  You're afraid they won't be successful with a certain characteristic or they will struggle more with a certain interest.  But this week, I found myself doing something I never thought I would do - controlling a birthday party.

Obviously, in my line of work, I am an expert in parties.  But I found myself imposing my expectations on my daughter.  I had a vision of what I wanted her to have - what I thought would be cute and adorable and quite frankly, what I thought my friends would think is cute and adorable.  My daughter wanted a bounce house party - all I could think was "Really?  Another bounce house party?"  I told my husband about my dilemma and he really gave me food for thought.  He said, "What's wrong with that?  She went to a bounce house with all of her friends from school and had a ball.  A bounce house is totally her.  She loves it."

And suddenly, I realized he was right.  She might enjoy the party I wanted her to have, but who cares?  She wants a party at a bounce house and it's her birthday.  So I'm not sure which birthday option she will choose but I realized that as long as it's within our budget, it should be her choice.  And she should love it.

Surviving the 2nd child - it's possible!

Our second child turned two!!!!  Hallelujah!  The second birthday for the first child was pretty uneventful but for the second child, the 2nd birthday was bigger than the first.  It was a huge milestone for mom and dad.  Life at home doesn't completely suck any more!

For those of you with multiple children, you understand.  But if you aren't there yet, let me explain myself.  The second child as an individual is definitely easier to care for than the first child as an individual.  You know what you're doing.  You know how to use the gear.  You know how to deal with crying babies and temper tantrums.

BUT you are now caring for two kids and all of the issues that occur between them because there are two.  Jealousy, sharing (or lack thereof), being gentle and not killing the little one, etc.  And caring for two means you don't have the ability to focus on one, which for most adults is very stressful.  It takes time to learn to cope when both children have needs at the same time that you can't meet.

For us, we had sleep deprivation until our son (2nd child) was 7 months.  Then, he started crawling at 8 months and boy, did he move.  Our efforts to keep him from killing himself required 80% of our time, which consequently, heightened our older daughter's jealousy and anxiety.  So then, we found ourselves spending every moment keeping the baby alive or trying to appease our older stressed and jealous daughter.  Not going to lie.  It was rough - had I really known how hard it was going to be, I might have chickened out.

BUT I'm here to tell anyone who is in this boat or will be soon - it does get better!  Our son now has near death experiences far less often.  We can keep doors open in our house.  We can mostly unload the dishwasher in his presence.  He is more independent.  He can talk and understand us.  He can even share.   All of these things help calm our older child as well.  Yesterday, both of our children played by themselves with our son's new train table in his room while I folded laundry and my husband cooked dinner upstairs.  It felt amazing!!!!!  We have envisioned this moment for almost 5 years and now it's here.

Having two is great in the long run.  So if you are in a rough spot, hang in there and know it gets easier!  And that vision of the happy family can come together.

Christmas Can Be Fun For Your Husband, Too!

Do you like Christmas?  Does your husband like Christmas?  At my house, the first answer is a resounding YES and the second answer is "Do I have to?"

I was thinking the other day about everything I had to do -  at least 10 things on the list - then, it dawned on me that a gift for my husband wasn't even on the list, much less spending time with him.  I know he doesn't care about Christmas as much as I do, but maybe if I put him somewhere in the top 5 of my list, he might like Christmas a little more.  So I decided to think about some simple things we could do together that don't involve the kids - and hopefully, will make my husband enjoy Christmas a little more!

1.  Cider Sippin' and Shoppin' -  Make shopping for your mother-in-law and the kids a little more fun.  Leave the kids with the sitter, go have a drink (or two) and then, shop.  I guarantee it will be more fun!  You can top off the shopping trip with dinner or dessert.

2.  Christmas movie night - Make this a tradition.  After the kids go to bed, watch your favorite Christmas movie together.  Personally, I might go for something like Love Actually, but to make my husband happy, Christmas Vacation might be a better compromise.

3.  Give the gift of together - I love this one! So instead of giving each other things for Christmas, give each other date nights.  Each person can plan 6 date nights for the following year and that's what you give each other for Christmas.   You could create a cute little book that has pictures of what you'll do on each date.   And if you are watching your dollars, you don't have to buy everything at Christmas.  Spread this one out over the next year.

Here's to a wonderful holiday season and hopefully, a joyful husband, too!

5 Tips for Holiday Efficiency

I have been so busy the past few weeks, I have hardly had time to breathe.  And I've hardly had time to write my blog.  But that brought me to my blog topic of this week - time saving tips for the holidays.  Yes, of course, you can just not do some things (very viable option), but if you are like me, it always seems difficult to give things up.  So I go for efficiency!  Here are my 5 tips for being more efficient for the holidays:

1.  If you don't like cooking Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, buy it.  We will be spending Thanksgiving with friends.  We are responsible for bring dessert and rolls.  So on Wednesday next week, I will be spending my morning driving (not cooking) to Whole Foods and Nothing Bundt Cakes to pick up desserts.  I will be much happier in the car than in the kitchen!

2.  Limit your holiday shopping options.  All of my Christmas shopping has to come from three places - Amazon, Junior League A Christmas Affair (a Christmas shopping bazaar), or Shutterfly.  It really reduces the stress, and I always find something for everyone.

3.  Streamline your Christmas cards.  I gave up handwriting and signing Christmas cards when we had kids.  I print out mailing labels, which takes 20 seconds.  And this year, I even paid the babysitter $20 to stuff the Christmas cards.  Okay, it sounds impersonal, but it's not.  I want to do it all myself.  I'm still thinking of everyone on my list.  I'm just not addressing their envelopes.

4.  Take a vacation day to decorate.  So finding time to decorate with a toddler on the weekends seems so stressful and somewhat impossible.  So this year, I'm taking a vacation day to decorate the house.  I get to decorate in peace and actually enjoy it!  I am going to leave some of the tree decorating for the kids to help with but not so much that it's stressful.

5.  Give gift cards.  For all of those people on your list that you don't know well (teachers, mailman, maid, etc), just give them gift cards.  They will appreciate it and it is super easy to do!

Good luck with the holidays!  May you not lose your mind and hopefully have some fun.

Thanksgiving - Yea or Nay?

So Thanksgiving is just 3 weeks away.  Are you ready?

Thanksgiving is an interesting holiday - a whole day devoted to hanging out with your family (or trapped with your family) eating and drinking, watching parades and football.  Is that how the pilgrims envisioned it?

As a child, I loved Thanksgiving.  My parents took me out of school on Wednesday.  We made the long trip to Arkansas to visit my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin.  I didn't cook.  I didn't clean.  I just had to endure the boredom of the car trip to see the rest of my family, which I thought was awesome!

Then, I got older and Thanksgiving just became an obligatory holiday that forced me to deal with awful car and air travel when I knew I would be doing it all over again a few weeks later.  And eventually, I got married and in-laws came to visit and my feelings about Thanksgiving went from "ambivalence" to "I kind of want to shoot myself".

Well, last year, Thanksgiving totally changed.  We created a new tradition!  Our friends decided to have Thanksgiving together.  A group of us goes to the Turkey Trot in the morning, which is a good way to not feel so guilty about the dinner later on.  The kids love it, too!  Then, everyone brings one or two dishes to the dinner in the afternoon.  No one has to spend all day cooking.  We get to spend the afternoon with people we like, and the kids have a blast playing with each other.  It's no stress and actually a holiday that I look forward to!

Just some food for thought - if Thanksgiving is somewhere between "ambivalent" and "shoot yourself" for you, can you change your traditions?   Maybe you can't change everything and maybe some people won't be 100% on board.  But new traditions have to start somewhere and maybe everyone will thank you for it next year!

Sometimes I Just Need a Chill Pill

Last week, I got some news that sent me into a brief tail spin for about 36 hours (work related, not health related).  I had a vision of how I thought our family's lives were going to be for the next five years and suddenly with this new information, I felt like I had to completely readjust....immediately.

See that's the thing with me.  I HATE uncertainty.  I can deal with bad news, but I cannot deal with uncertainty.  Uncertainty makes me instantly plot out worst case scenarios.  I'm trying to find the emergency exit.  I'm really in a state of constant stress when uncertainty creeps in.  Why is that?

For me, I think it's because I am 100% goal oriented.  It's very hard for me to live in the here and now.  When you throw in uncertainty, I don't know how to achieve the goal...and whew, I go nuts.

This quality helps me achieve, but it doesn't necessarily make me the best parent, spouse or friend.  So I have to find my own chill pill (a legal one).  Not exactly sure what it is just yet - but I saw a quote this week that was a perfect reminder for me -- "Now and then it's good to pause in the pursuit of happiness and just be happy."

You should know that during the tail spin, I received some additional information which actually indicated things were better than before the tail spin!  If I had just remained calm until I had all of the information, I could have saved myself and my husband some unneeded stress.

Any suggestions for good chill pills?

Is Halloween Just for Kids?

I like Halloween just fine.  I love spooky things and ghosts.  I like going to pumpkin patches.  I love seeing little toddlers in cute animal costumes.  And from a mom's perspective, Halloween is pretty easy to prepare for.  Buy a couple of costumes and some candy, and you're done.

But this year our daughter threw us a curve ball - she wanted mommy and daddy to dress up for Halloween, too.  Actually, she started asking for this last year after Halloween.  I was pretty quick to say, "Mommy isn't really into that.  Don't you have fun dressing up with your brother?"  I didn't seriously entertain dressing up.

I shared this story with a friend, and the friend reminded me to think about this from my daughter's perspective - something that maybe wasn't "my thing" was going to be very special to my child.  I had never thought of it like that.  But it did make me remember a year when my parents dressed up for a Halloween party.   Even though I wasn't going to the party, I thought it was so cool they dressed up.

So I conceded.  Well, fast forward one year, and like every other four year old girl, my daughter is in love with Elsa.  And she decreed we must all be Frozen characters.  She would be Elsa, of course.  Mommy would be Anna.  Daddy would be Kristoff, and little brother (who thankfully still goes with the flow) would be Olaf.  She even tried (albeit unsuccessfully) to turn the cat into Sven.

Although it's not Halloween yet, we have already dressed up for the school festival and I must say we had fun!  Our daughter got a huge kick out of watching us get dressed up.  We got to trim daddy's blonde Kristoff wig, which made everyone laugh.  And my daughter felt very special that the other kids thought her mommy was Princess Anna.

So I learned two things from this experience - 1) The holidays can actually be more fun when mommy and daddy aren't afraid to be a little silly and 2) My husband looks terrible as a blonde.

Happy Halloween everyone!

5 Super Easy but Adorable Halloween & Fall Decorations

I love decorating!  In fact, it's part of what made me start a party business, because I like designing parties - not necessarily because I'm the hostess with the mostess.  BUT having two little kids (particularly the 22 month old) has taken some fun out of decorating.  It's really hard to find the time, and it's hard to find decorating ideas the little one won't sabotage.

So here are my top 5 (who has time for 10?)  simple but elegant (do not use inflatables) kid-friendly decorating ideas:

1.  Fill vases and bowls your already have with little pumpkins and gourds (buy these on your next trip to the grocery store).


2.  Spray paint pumpkins.  Personally, I love the look of white or ivory pumpkins with gold glitter tops, but you can choose whatever matches with your home.


3.  Fall Leaf Garlands.  Garlands add a big punch for little effort and low costs.  You can buy a set of 6 that are 6 feet long each at Amazon for $20.  Super easy.  Set them on your mantel.  Use one as a table runner.  Decorate your handrails with these.  You will have instant color in 5 minutes!


4.  Battery operated candles.  I love candle light, but let's face it, it isn't the most child-friendly thing in the world.  But if it's battery operated, it's safe.  And battery operated candles can be super cheap.  Get a bunch of tea lights or small candles and put them in windows or little nooks that you want to light up when it's dark or cloudy.  You can buy a dozen for $15 at Oriental Trading.


5.  Candy Corn!  Okay, this could be dangerous if you or your kids like to eat candy corn, but it makes for a great decoration.  It's cheap and at the grocery store.  Fill covered (you don't want ants) clear candy dishes, mason jars, whatever you have with candy corn.



Voila you're done!  Two online purchases.  Some extra items at your next trip to the grocery store.  And 20 minutes of setup at home.  You are officially ready for fall!

Second Child Tantrums are Funnier

So lots of things change with the second child.  They watch more TV than the first child did.  They don't get all of the homemade baby food the first child did.  They play with toys you never would have let the first child play with.  The list goes on and on.  You just don't have as much time to manage the details and perfections once there are two.  You are more focused on managing the team and the team's survival.

Well, one thing we've noticed in our house with the second child - which is quite a treat - tantrums don't bother us with the second child like they did with the first child.  Granted, so far our second child's tantrums pale in comparison to our first child's tantrums.  But nevertheless, we actually find the tantrums quite hysterical the second time around.

For example, the one that cracks me up every time.  Our 22 month old LOVES to get his ears cleaned with Q-tips.  I mean it's weird.  He just loves it.  And when I'm finished and the Q-tips are all gone, he bursts into tears every time and starts screaming "More.  More.  More."  With the first, I would have felt bad and tried to calm her but with the second, it is downright hysterical.  Seriously, it makes my day.  (What does this say about me?)

The other night after seeing the moon, as usual, he wanted "More. More. More."  I explained there was only one moon but it's beautiful, and we can enjoy it.  This did not sit well with him and again the tears started.  Seriously, how could you not laugh at that?  He's angry that mommy can't produce a second moon for the earth.

Last one, because I could go on... We were at the pumpkin patch this past weekend.  They have built a very elaborate climbing structure for the goats to climb on.  I must admit it does look awesome.  It's in a fenced-in area with the goats, of course.  Well, my son thought it looked like an awesome playground, too.  And I literally had to carry him out of the pumpkin patch kicking and screaming, because I wouldn't let him climb on the goats' playground.  Again, I would have been mortified with number one but man, that was adorable with number two!

So the lesson here (if there is one) is - having the second child can simplify things, because you don't take everything so seriously.  You can see the humor in things you might not have seen the first time around.

Anyone else have funny toddler tantrums?  Please share!

Family Trips - Are They Survivable?

When I first decided I wanted to be a parent and have kids, the thing I envisioned doing was taking family trips.  I wanted to take the kids to Disney World, show them DC, go skiing, and maybe even be the cool parents who take their teenagers to Europe.  Once I actually had the kids (by kids, I mean more than one), I thought, "Am I insane?  How are we ever going to leave our house?"
Well, this weekend we took our 4.5 year old and our almost 22 month old to the Gulf (not a fantastic beach, but it's close).  We have traveled with our kids before, but never with just the four of us and never a car trip.  This was really a family proof of concept.
And guess what?  It wasn't totally awful!  In fact, many parts were fun.  Unfortunately, it rained and was 75 degrees the whole weekend, not ideal for the beach, but the kids still thought it was fun.  We were in a different place.  They got to play in the mud (AKA beach).  They got to swim in a new pool.  The condo had new books and movies.  Our 4.5 year old even thought the ocean was awesome, which shocked me since it required her to get sand on her and potentially be near a jelly fish.  Granted, our 22 month old quickly decided he did not like the ocean when it almost swept him to sea, so he just stood there and yelled "Sissy" at his sister out of extreme concern for her well-being.  So cute.  And he consumed an unhealthy amount of dirty, rain water from the oh-so-clean Texas beach (but hey, no vomiting - that's a win).
Anyway, so what I realized yet again is that the worst part was what I built up in my mind.  I feared every worst case scenario happening, when in actuality, very few of those scenarios came to be.  Now was it relaxing and like a kid-free vacation?  Not in the least.  But it showed me we could do this again and still retain our sanity.  And I remembered why I initially wanted to have kids?  So I could share these experiences with them and see them have as much fun as I did as a kid.  And that made it all worth it.

Holiday Stress - Already?

So the holidays are just around the corner - you know how I know?  Yes, of course, I have a calendar and know how to read it.  But what I meant was Lowe's and Home Depot already have Christmas decorations.  Ughhh.
Now I should tell you that Fall has ALWAYS been my favorite season - it gets cooler, you get to wear pretty boots, there's football (well, there's tailgating), and there are lots of awesome holidays I get to decorate for and celebrate.  LOVE it!
But something weird happened about 2 years ago.  My son was born.  No, that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was that once I had the hustle and bustle of two little kids, suddenly the holidays started feeling very stressful.
Now when I see the Christmas decorations at Lowe's, I mentally start preparing my to-do list.  AHHHHH.  So I pondered this the other day while my kids were miraculously entertaining themselves for five minutes.  How can I enjoy the holidays with two little kids and not let the stress take all of the fun out of it?
I decided to make a list of all of the FUN things I want to do with my family, not all of the things that have to be done (i.e. sending Christmas cards and buying gifts for my mother-in-law - nothing personal, Linda).  I'm talking about going to the pumpkin patch, decorating pumpkins, making Christmas cookies, and looking at Christmas lights.  I'm going to put those things on my calendar - they make me happy.  I'll get to the other stuff, too.  I didn't give up my Type A card after all.  But if my to-do list starts out with the fun stuff, hopefully, that will keep the fun in the holidays!
Anybody else have good holiday stress-relieving ideas????

Celebrating 40!

In just three short days, I will officially leave my 30's.  That's right the big 4-0.  It's a big milestone, so I felt like surely I would have some big epiphanies or reflections, right?  But really, I don't.  In fact, it hasn't felt as monumental as I thought it would.  I'm not sure what that means - is that good or bad?
BUT - I did feel like it was an occasion that should be celebrated.  I'm not a big birthday person in general (very ironic given the business I started), but I felt I would regret just letting it pass by as a typical birthday.
So why am I not a big birthday person?  Well, it requires a lot of effort and work to plan a party, because my husband probably isn't going to do it.  And well, I guess I always want to give my energy to other things (like my party business!) but not to celebrating me.
So this year I decided I should celebrate me!  And quite frankly, my business, Piece of Cake Parties, is what has helped me find the energy to celebrate this milestone.  I know this seems like a shameless plug, but truly, this is why I started this business - to help people have fun planning a party.  To make it easy!  But easy when you are still happy and proud of the outcome.  Not easy like, "I didn't do anything" or "I just threw some crap together" easy.
So I'm celebrating with a wine theme!  Wine is the perfect 40th birthday for me - love everything about it - the taste of it, the look of it, the varieties of it, everything.  And my husband did hire an Italian restaurant to cater it, which is easy and very coordinated.  So here are some highlights of the party - super easy, and I'm going to be very happy I did celebrate me and my 40 years on this earth.  Here's to 40 more!

pocparties.com

Sometimes It's Just a Phase

I've mentioned in my previous blogs that the past 10 months - really 20 months - have felt very stressful at our house.  We welcomed our 2nd child to the family, which of course, required more sleepless nights (7 months worth) and lots of toddler chasing.  Consequently, our 4 year-old also had some first child adjustments, too - that came in the form of monumental melt downs.  And at the same time, we were starting a new business.
Periodically, when my husband and I clearly must have looked a little exhausted to others, a kind soul would say to us, "It gets easier."  BTW, I always appreciated those comments so much more than the "Enjoy these days.  You will miss them." comments.  Really?
Well, I'm happy to report it is getting easier!  Our now 21 month old does listen to our requests most of the time.  He can walk on his own without constant fear he will bolt into the parking lot.  He's old enough to play on the playground without us being two feet away.  He doesn't get into EVERYTHING in the house (note, that doesn't mean he has given up exploration completely - the toilet is still beyond fascinating).  And our 4-year-old is really mostly delightful now.  She's funny and smart and sometimes even genuinely helpful.  She actually likes to please us (sometimes) instead of just doing the opposite of what was requested.  And last but not least, we launched our business, which has also relieved some stress.
This past weekend I could truly say I enjoyed all of the family activities we did!  So for those of you in a stressful period of your life - my words of consolation are "Sometimes it's just a phase."  Be patient, find as much relaxation as you can and take solace in knowing it will get easier.

Sugar Chart Update

So I have an update on my sugar chart I implemented a few weeks ago.  A quick recap, I assigned points to the typical sugar items in our house (pancakes, cookies, sugar cereal, etc.).  Then, I told my 4 year old daughter she could have 4 points each day during the week and 6 points each day on the weekends.
Well, I am ecstatic, albeit somewhat surprised, to share that it is working amazingly!  We haven't had a single argument about sugar.  I haven't had to tell her "No."  I just explain if she chooses Lucky Charms for breakfast, she will only have enough points to have a yogurt when she comes home from school.  This amazingly seems to motivate her to opt for Rice Krispies in the morning, so she can have dessert after dinner that night.
I'm not saying this will work for every kid.  They definitely have to be old enough to be able to delay gratification, and they need to have some basic math skills, but it's worth a try.  It has been so awesome to remove this source of whining from our home - so that we have plenty of time to deal with whining about other important 4-year-old issues.

Had to share this -- Back to school today vs. the 70's

No wonder our kids end up entitled!  Does it have to be so complicated?

http://widelawns.blogspot.com/2014/08/back-to-school-70s-vs-today-lot-has.html

Finding More Tickle Monster Moments

Over the past few months, I have had a few friends or acquaintances diagnosed with cancer - all who have young children.  It's definitely given me some food for thought.  What if I didn't get to have as much time with my kids as I had planned - would I do things differently?

So my goal here is not to write the sentimental blog post that makes you cry and want to go home and hug your kids.  I mean if that happens, that's not bad, but that isn't my goal. My goal is to let you know my conclusion is actually something that might make the groundhog, monotonous (sometimes anxiety-filled) days with young children more enjoyable - especially for those of us Type A parents who need to accomplish goals every day!

I mean every day isn't going to be filled with trips to Disney World and sprinkle donuts.  But there are a lot of tickle monster moments and "Look at this silly face" moments I don't take advantage of, because I'm focused on the task or goal at hand.  And with little kids, is it really that important that we always get to church on time?  Is it really that important that all of the toys are put away before we leave the house?  If those things happen most or even some of the time, it's okay.  In fact, I would probably have an easier time getting those things accomplished if we had a few more tickle monster and silly face moments.

So my mission for myself is to look for the little opportunities each day to make a moment fun rather than to focus on getting everything done.  It won't be easy every day - but hopefully, I'll get better at it!

Too Much Junk Food!

Have you ever read the Berenstain Bear's book, Too Much Junk Food?  Well, last week I had my mama bear "Too Much Junk Food" moment.  I actually witnessed my husband bribing our daughter with a cupcake to eat a cookie.  I knew we had gone off the deep end.

A quick bit of background - The past 5 months have been a little rocky with our 4 year old daughter and in an effort to get the simplest tasks accomplished, we began using sugar as a bribe.  I knew it wasn't good, but it was necessary for survival.  But now things are better and clearly our daughter has learned how to maximize the sugar consumption, and I'm just so tired of saying, "No" all of the time.

So I pondered.  How do we solve this dilemma without creating total family meltdown?  Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration but it's always the fear when you take away your easy parenting tool, right?

Here's my solution - I decided to implement a sugar chart.  It's pretty easy.  Each of the normally consumed sugar items (sugar cereal, cookies, ice cream, etc) has a point total.  For example, pancakes are 3 points.  Yogurt is 1 point. Each child gets 4 points a day of sugar during the week and 6 points a day on Saturday and Sunday.  Oh, and you can earn 1 point if you eat a serving of veggies!

So how's it going?  So far so good.  This morning she asked for goldfish (which is 1 point) but then also wanted a piece of the Juicy Fruit gum (she earned a piece of gum for something else) her grandmother gave her (also 1 point).  I explained that if she chose the Juicy Fruit instead of the sugar-free gum, she wouldn't have 3 points left to get frozen yogurt after dinner tonight (this is also a good math tool).  Amazingly, she peacefully chose the sugar-free gum and all was well.  I didn't have to say no.  She made the choice.  And far less sugar is being consumed!  Granted, our daughter usually responds well to new things like this, because it seems kind of fun.  So the real test is how is it going in two weeks.  I'll report back!

Celebrating Successes!

So I had a huge success this week.  I officially launched my website - Piece of Cake Parties!  I've been working on this (with lots of help from my husband) for the past year.  It has definitely been a labor of love - a lot of work and stress that hopefully will eventually benefit our family, but for the past year has added a lot of additional stress on the family.
I have the tendency to just focus on the goal.  And as soon as I accomplish the goal, I set a new goal and go back to work.  I never give myself permission to relax and celebrate accomplishments.  I want to but it I have a hard time relaxing when I know there is work to do.  This is definitely a weakness personally and in my parenting.  Even with my kids, I say "Awesome!  Great job!" but then we are on to the next thing.  Okay, you stayed in your bed all week.  Now let's see if you can stop whining for a week.  Ha, just kidding.
So with the launch of Piece of Cake Parties, I'm giving myself a few days off to celebrate and enjoy our accomplishment.  There is a lot more to do, but I know I need to appreciate this win.  And hopefully, I'll discover a great celebratory feeling that reminds me to do this more in the future - my family and kids will appreciate it!

Managing the Chaos

I remember friends describing having a second child as "chaos."  I thought naively they must be exaggerating.  After all, clearly I had mastered having one child - we had kept her alive until age two.  How much harder could it be to have another one?   Well, once child number two learned how to walk, I learned what "chaos" meant.  For the past seven months, we have felt like we are in a constant state of chaos.  Even if things are technically under control, you always feel like you are just 10 seconds away from everything spiraling downward.   

This past week, we visited some friends who have children who are ages eight and six.  (AHHHH.  What a sense of calm.)  Well, our friends offered some perspective.  From their perspective, it didn't look as chaotic as we felt it was.  So that said to me at least 25% of the chaos (maybe even 50%) is just our anticipation of chaos. To be fair, it is human nature to learn from past behavior.  But nevertheless, I decided our assignment for the next week is to loosen up - and not worry about the chaos until it occurs.  And hey - what's the worse that could happen?  As long as everyone is alive and the house hasn't burned down, we'll make it through.  And maybe our children will make it to ages eight and six and we, too, will experience the wonderful sense of calm and peace that appears to occur then.

Entertaining a Toddler - Part 3

I inadvertently discovered this trick - but wow, was it awesome!  Our family is taking a trip this week, which will require all four of us to be on an airplane - about the worst place imaginable to be with a toddler.  Anyway, I was preparing a bag of tricks and surprises to keep my son entertained on the plane.  I was putting everything in a new roller backpack (similar to the one his sister has).  Well, my daughter and my son found the roller backpack in my closet on their own and were immediately entertained!  I got my daughter's roller backpack out, too, and seriously, the two of them walked/ran through the house with their backpacks for 30 minutes.  They didn't destroy anything.  They didn't hurt each other.  They just had a blast pushing the backpacks through the entire house.  So if you have a toddler (and hard wood or tile floors) - get him or her a rolling backpack!  Tons of fun!

I'm Adding "Plan Time for Me" to my To-Do List

The past few months have been stressful at our house - a toddler, an intense 4 year old, two full-time jobs, and a new business.  And I basically feel like there is so much to do, I can't rationalize taking time to relax.  Even if I did take the time, I would feel too guilty and to preoccupied to actually relax.  Normally, running helps clear my head but lately, my runs are filled with making to-do lists in my head...so sadly, I finish the run feeling more stressed than when I started.

So what's a girl to do?  I want to stay sane.  I want to have some remaining patience with my kids, and I want to get my business launched - because there is a direct correlation between that and my stress level.  

I could ask my husband to do more but hey, he's already doing a lot and making him more stressed just makes me more stressed.  I could ask my toddler and four year old to do more - ha, ha, ha.  Oh, that actually made me laugh out loud.  

So I've decided to try a highly recommended tactic - literally give myself the assignment of doing something relaxing (i.e. a massage).  For some reason, if I take the fun out of things by making it an assignment, then, I feel less guilty and entitled to do it.  So it is now on my calendar once a month - "Plan 4 hours to do something selfish and relaxing."  Hey, the calendar says I have to do it.  

Does the iPhone5 Really Make you More Powerful?

So I'm sure you've seen Apple's new campaign promoting that the iPhone5 makes you more powerful.  You know, one of the ads has the crazy song about chicken fat?  Which incidentally, that is a real song recorded in the 60's during the JFK administration to motivate kids to exercise in school.  Nothing like telling you to get rid of chicken fat to get you going!
Anyway, I digress.  So every time I see the parenthood iPhone5 ad, it actually makes me feel MORE OVERWHELMED rather than more powerful.  I'm lying in bed finally relaxing and then, BAM.  I see that ad and think about the craziness of the day and the craziness of tomorrow.  Oh and I'm thinking "Should I be searching for all of these amazing apps to make me a better parent?  Should I add that to my to-do list tomorrow?"  Then, I think "Well, they also have an ad about chicken fat, so I'm not going worry too much about this," and I go to sleep.
What do you think?  Does the iPhone5 simplify your life?  Are there some amazing wonderful apps out there I should be using?

Idea Number 2 for Entertaining a Toddler

Keeping with the easy, one idea at a time -- here's number 2!

Connect 4!  Yes, I know it says it's for 6 years+, but toddlers who at least have the fine motor skills to put the checkers in the board LOVE it!  I confess I read this idea somewhere awhile ago and kept meaning to try it have forgotten.  But this weekend, my daughter was playing with this game with her granddad.  Our 18 month old son began observing the fun and quickly wanted to join in.  Fortunately, our daughter loves entertaining him, so she loved that he wanted to play.  The two of them sat there for 10 minutes uninterrupted making designs together in the Connect 4 board.  So cute!  So easy!

A Little Reflection Can Simplify Things

So last week I was already feeling anxious about the upcoming week - I have a business partner coming in town (and staying with us) and my parents are coming to visit for five days.  And I'm still trying to get my website launched - oh and do my full time job and take care of my children and house.  All good things but all things that cause me stress.  So already I wasn't enjoying the weekend, because I was thinking of everything that had to be done this week.
Anyhoo - Saturday night was date night, and my husband took me to see a band play - not just any band, but a band I LOVED in college.  They played the college circuit and were famous in Texas but not in many other places.  They broke up shortly after I graduated from college, and I never thought I would see them play again.   So I was psyched to see them (albeit feeling a little old looking at the crowd who were formerly beer drinking, carefree college students now middle aged khaki-wearing parents checking on their babysitters) and hear the music that totally takes me back to my college days.
As I was listening to the music, I thought about how fun college was but also about how stressed I felt not knowing what was coming after college - Would I figure out what to do with my career?  Would I have the courage to try new things?  Would I get married and have kids?  Did I want to get married and have kids? So many uncertainties.  And I realized how awesome it felt to have figured all of that out.  Yes, that now means I have many responsibilities and I hardly feel like I have time to rest sometimes.  BUT I figured it out and that gave me a huge sense of relaxation on Saturday night.
So my tip for this week is if you are feeling overwhelmed, take note of how far you have come and what you have already accomplished.  Ask yourself if you would like to trade places with the you 10, 15, 20 years ago who had fewer responsibilities but probably still had a lot of uncertainties.  I sure wouldn't and that makes me enjoy today a lot more.

Entertaining a Toddler - One Idea at a Time

Lately, my husband and I have noticed we feel like we survive the weekends to make it to Monday (both our 4 year old and 18 month old go to school full-time during the week).  Seriously, Monday seems like a welcome relief.
We have an adorable four year old daughter who is also extremely extroverted, bright, and intense.  We also have an 18 month old son...enough said.  Anyone who has a toddler, particularly a boy, knows how hard it is to keep them occupied and alive.  But when your toddler is your 2nd or 3rd (or OMG 4th child), well, it's not just hard to keep them occupied, it's ESSENTIAL to keep them occupied or else your older children will start to rebel.
Most parents know the best toys for toddlers are usually not toys at all, so I thought I would share my recommendations of easy household items that can keep your toddler occupied (and by occupied I mean for at least 5 minutes) as I test them out.  If you're like me though, the usual "10 Ways to Keep Your Toddler Busy" is lost on me, because I can hardly remember one thing.  So I'm going to give you one, tested idea at a time.  Here's the first one -- Straws in a plastic bottle.  That's it.  Give the kid 5-10 straws and an empty water bottle.  It's good for home or while you're out-to-eat.  I swear by it.  My son is obsessed with straws, cups, and bottles.

Let me know if you have success!

To What Lengths Should You Go For Good Sleep?

So the past two months we have reverted to the newborn sleeping schedule. <sigh...oops, I think I just fell asleep>  1-3 times almost every night for over two months, our four year old daughter has come to our room and needed someone to take her back to her room to tuck her in.  Now this has happened before, but we have always resolved the problem within 1-2 weeks.  We have never gone two months!  So I have dutifully tried everything I can think of to understand why she's doing this and to motivate her to stay in her bed.   I've tried rewards.  I've tried punishments.  I've tried talking (sometimes a little crying).  We have even barricaded the poor 12 year old cat in her room to keep her company.  But the end result?  She is still coming to our room and we are exhausted.

The one week we had success, I offered her a trip to the local candy store if she stayed in bed 5 straight nights.  It worked!  But once she had the reward, we were back at square one.  And I refused to offer the reward again.  Well, fast forward two months and my husband and I are totally worn down.  Last weekend I asked her if she could have anything that would motivate her to stay in her bed, what would it be.  I'm expecting her to ask for a trampoline or motorized car (both things she really wants).  But no, she says candy.  So I decided, if that's her currency and the price for sleep, so be it.  So in the foreseeable future, if she stays in bed at least 6 nights a week, I'll take her to the Candy Jar EVERY Sunday after lunch.  And you know what?  We are finally sleeping.  SHE is finally sleeping and if takes candy, so be it.  I mean she's still got her baby teeth. They aren't that important, right?

Thoughts?  Ideas?  Should I continue this until she's 16?:)

Amazon, the 8th Wonder of the World

So my last post inspired me to write about one thing I know exceptionally well - Amazon subscriptions and Amazon Prime.  I buy EVERYTHING there.  I mean everything.  We also have their credit card, so I know how much we spend there annually - won't tell you, but trust me, your heart would skip a beat.  Again, I swear I get no kick backs for this...although, Amazon, if you are reading...

Anyway, aside from working from home and not having a commute and wearing yoga pants everyday of my life, the one thing that truly simplifies our family's life is Amazon.  If you don't have Amazon Prime or don't use their subscriptions and you are a busy parent, go to Amazon right now.  Do not pass Go.  Just sign up.  I don't care if it costs $79 or $99 or $129.  Whatever they decided, it is 1000% worth it.  I seriously only shop at the grocery store and occasionally Target now.  (I even look at is as a cost savings plan, because I apparently don't know how to spend less than $100 every time I walk into Target.)  If I need something, in 20 seconds I can buy it on my phone and it arrives in 2 days.  If I can plan ahead, even better.  Save 20% and I don't think about it again.  Done.  No extra work.  No painful trips with two little kids to Costco or Sam's.  Our weekends are still crazy, BUT they are not spent shopping.  And for that, Amazon, I thank you.

Making the pool easier with two little kids

So we went to the pool this weekend - twice.  For swim lessons and for fun.  Then, today, my daughter was swimming twice at school (lessons and free swim) and my son had splash day.  I can't tell you how many swim suits and towels I've packed, washed, dried, repacked.  So I kept trying to think of some helpful way to simplify this process.  You know what?  I came up with squat.  But the one thing that seemed to make things a little simpler this weekend?  Capri Sun flavored waters.  I swear I have no affiliation with Capri Sun.  I don't even know who makes them.  But what I do know is they are convenient, have a lot less sugar, and my kids think they are juice.  So I don't have to fight the battle at the pool of how many juice boxes they can have - I love it!  Now if Amazon Prime could just have them at a decent price, I would be a really happy camper.  Good for birthday parties, too!:)

Here is a super easy organization idea that can be used with many of your messes!   It took me 20 minutes and now I can stand to open my closet again.

So we have this catch-all closet in our kitchen that contains games, Play-doh, crafts, colors, kids' dishes, baby stroller, toddler tractor...I could go on and on.  The point is it contains everything we need while we're in the kitchen but are trying to hide, so it looks like grown-up live here, too.  As time has gone by, we just piled more and more in there.  And basically, it was so overgrown, I didn't want to open the closet any more.  I felt guilty.  My daughter would ask to play with Play-doh, paints, or stickers, and all I could think was, "Please don't make me dig that out of the closet.  Can't you play with your doll or a puzzle?  Anything besides what is in this closet."  But figuring out how to remedy the problem seemed to take more time and energy than I had.

I happened to have a spare shoe hanger, and it dawned on me - I could use that to organize little crafts - stickers, colors, markers, pom-poms, glue, etc.  And then, my daughter could actually reach some of these things without needing my help!  Hallelujah!

So here it is - seriously, took 20 minutes.  It made my daughter super happy!  She wants to do crafts all of the time now and I'm not afraid to open the closet any more.

P.S.  I have a really tall door, and I still made this work.  I tied some ribbon to the hooks to lengthen the organizer so it's at a more reachable level.

Days 3 and 4 - Well, this weekend I discovered that giving up a child makes life amazingly simple.  Okay, so you can't do this all of the time (as appealing as this may seem sometimes), but whew - I forgot how easy it was to have just one kid.  I mean really, why did one seem so hard?  My daughter went to her grandparents house for a few days, and we just had the one year old.  I even had him all by myself on Saturday while my husband did a ridiculously long 103 mile bike ride and it still felt like a vacation.  I didn't have to give anything else up to help make my life simpler. So maybe not easily repeatable - but if you really need to simplify, send your kids to someone else for a day!

Day 2 - Still no flag in front of the house.  What success!  I haven't even thought about it.  It doesn't sound like a big accomplishment but trust me, it is.  So now I'm pondering what to not do today.  Ummmm..I think I'm going to not do the not-so-fun stuff for work (writing reports and search engine optimization - boy, doesn't that stuff sound awesome).  Sure, it has to be done but it's Friday, and I'm not going to do it.  I'm such a rebel.  Now normally, this causes me anxiety because I know it still has to be done Monday.  But because I'm doing this for you and the blog, it feels like a duty.  I must have fun today - it's my job!  That felt pretty good.

Cut One Thing Out of Your Day

So ironically, after creating my new blog where I'm going to offer oh-so-helpful tips on simplifying your life as a mom, wife, and/or working woman, I went to my mom-to-mom meeting yesterday where the presenter was talking about simplifying your life.  I thought - perfect!  This will give me some great content to blog about.  However, as she talked, I kept having this nagging feeling inside myself that despite all of my efforts to simplify, my life always seems to get more complicated.  Why is that?   I mean I'm terribly efficient, neat, organized, well-planned.  I'm down right perfect and more prepared than any boy scout.  But there are never enough hours in the day.<sigh>.  It occurred to me that I am a master simplifier and organizer just so I can have room to add MORE to my life.  I want to always make sure I'm prepared to do something else if I need to.  It's all about control, but I'll leave that topic for another day.
Anyhoo, so it occurred to me if I really want to simplify, I have to do more than just be more efficient and organized.  I have to cut something out of my day.  What should that be?  My kids?  Well, I think CPS would frown upon that.  My job?  My boss would frown upon that.  My new company?  Well, the bank and my husband would frown upon that.  Running, showering, or cleaning the house - I would frown upon those.  Geez - everything is frowned upon.
Okay, so I will have to do something more basic.  I accept that I'm not in a place to cut out any of the big things in my life.  But maybe, just maybe, I can find something little everyday that I think is terribly critical to just not do.  Give myself permission to slack and then see where it goes.  So this will be my experiment for the next week - give up one little thing a day that I normally feel I must do.  So today, I'm not going to stress about hanging my new season/holiday flag in my front yard to replace the Easter one I took down yesterday.  In fact, I'm not going to do it for a whole week!  Okay, you may laugh but this is exactly the kind of thing I can fret about.   You know, in case the UPS man comes to my front door and says "Holy cow!  I almost missed your house because I didn't see a decorative flag in the front yard."  Or my neighbor cries, "What season comes after Easter?  I'm lost without your flag!"  It could happen.
Day 1...stay tuned.