The worst part about having even one family member with anxiety is that it can create negative feelings between the whole family. And you don't even know how it happened. We didn't even know our daughter had anxiety. We knew she had behavior issues. We knew she was angry and defiant a lot. But understanding that was tied to anxiety (much less how to deal with it) didn't occur to us. We just slowly adapted to minimizing outbursts and trying to get things done, so we could still function and leave the house. But inside, we were building resentments. We resented her for being difficult. I resented my husband for not helping more. He resented me for not understanding this situation made his anxiety sky high and he couldn't cope. And our 3 year old was just trying to figure out how to adapt to all of this. Slowly, we all retreated to our own little balls, because we were all irritated with each other. Really, really, sad.
But by recognizing the anxiety and seeking help, in less than 2 months, we are in a very different place. Our daughter is of course, much more relaxed and happy. She is much more patient and caring with her little brother and with us. My husband actually wants to hang out with me after the kids are in bed instead of hiding in his man cave. We have time, energy, and interest in holding hands and giving each other a kiss. Our son is calmer, but let's face it, he's 3 and he's a boy, so he's still a work in progress. And me? Well, I don't walk on egg shells around my daughter. When I read stories to her at night, I'm having fun and laughing and cuddling with her. She wants me to cuddle with her! Which before, she couldn't stand being touched. I'm not counting the minutes until she's in bed and I can relax. And I look forward to having time alone with her after school instead of fearing a rage that will leave both of us exhausted. I don't fear taking her to dance class wondering if she will have a melt down when I ask her to put on her leotard. I'm not constantly trying to out think and out manipulate her. I have energy again!
I will keep writing about this subject, because I think there needs to be more awareness. I've come to understand that anxiety is a relatively common yet very misunderstood and undiagnosed disorder. Now that I recognize anxiety, I can see it in so many people I've known in my life. I also know that it's something that can actually be treated, often relatively easily, ESPECIALLY if it's caught early. There are a lot of resources out there that can give your child and your family easy tools to manage anxiety and live a less stressful and happier life.
If your child is highly sensitive, it's likely they struggle with some type of anxiety so be on the look out.
Here are some common symptoms of childhood anxiety:
- Feeling nervous, restless or tense
- Feeling angry and irritable
- Defiance
- Worrying about safety and security
- Feeling tired
- Trouble concentrating
- Trouble sleeping
- Gastrointestinal (GI) problems
- Urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety
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