What ONE Thing Do You Want To Teach Your Children?

You always hear people say things like, "My mother always told me..." or "The one thing I learned from my dad is..."  That has always stuck with me for some reason.  While I learned a lot from my parents, I really can't think of one thing that my parents told me repeatedly.  So maybe that's why I have found the idea that some people have sort of a life motto to fall back on to be interesting and kind of comforting.

Now that I'm a parent, I have given this idea of a "life motto" more and more thought.  As a marketer, I can certainly appreciate the value of communicating one clear, concise message.  Humans aren't good at remembering much more than that.  So if I had just one thing I wanted my kids to learn from me what would it be?  Obviously, there are so many things to consider - be kind, give back, follow your heart, never give up.  The list goes on.  But oddly, it was watching The Martian that finally gave me my A-ha.

Have you seen The Martian?  If you're like us, you either haven't seen it or you saw it two years after it came out.  Either way, it's about an astronaut (Matt Damon) who is in an accident during a mission to Mars.  His team believes he's dead and leaves him behind on Mars as they make their miraculous escape.  But Matt Damon is not dead.  He awakes, realizes he's alone on Mars, and it will take months if not years for anyone to rescue him...so he has to figure out how to live on Mars.  After that, it's basically a series of problems occurring which Matt Damon must continue to solve in order to live another day.  During which he says some great lines like, "Yes, of course duct tape works in a vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere.  Duct tape is magic and should be worshipped."  And "I don't want to come off arrogant here, but I'm the best botanist on the planet (planet being Mars)." LOL.

Okay, I digressed.  So back to my point.  At the end of the movie, he is rescued and returns to earth to become a teacher at NASA.  And at the end he tells his students who are training to be astronauts his one piece of advice,

"At some point, everything's going to go south on you.  You're going to say, 'This is it.  This is how I end.'  Now, you can either accept that, or you can get to work.  You solve one problem, and then you solve the next problem, and the next, and if you solve enough problems, you get to go home."

It occurred to me that if I could only teach my kids one thing it's that the secret to navigating life is to look at life as a series of challenges.  The more challenges you overcome, the better you will do.  

Growing up, I certainly dealt with perfectionism and the fear of failure.  This approach to life made me fear problems and challenges.  Problems were a sign of failure.  This fear really held me back.  There were so many things I didn't try or do, because I feared not having immediate success.  I didn't think I could handle the feelings of disappointment or failure.  If I had just looked at life the other way - That of course problems occur.  Everyone faces challenges, problems and failure.  Even with the best planning and future-thinking in the world, you will still encounter problems.  Therefore, just expect problems, expect challenges.  And when the problems occur (because they will), you aren't defeated, helpless or angry.  You just see it as the next challenge the world or God or whatever you believe in has presented to you.  And when you solve the problem, you will be better and more successful than you were yesterday.  And if you are goal oriented (which my daughter is), consider that the person who solves the most problems is the winner!:)

In fact, we had our motto printed on a canvas and it hangs on the wall where we walk into our house, so we can see it and be reminded of it everyday.

This life approach might not speak to you or be your family's philosophy.  But just my two cents as a mom and a marketer - I think a life motto is a pretty cool gift to give your kids.  We want to teach our kids lots of things, but during confusing and hard times when they are older, our kids may lose track of the 1,236 things we've taught them through the years.  But if they have a life motto, it gives your child an easy-to-remember philosophy to fall back on.  It lets your voice be heard in their heads even when you aren't there.  And what parent of an 18 year old doesn't want that?