So what are these traits you ask? You might be surprised. They have nothing to do with IQ, independence, or perseverance. The 3 critical traits associated with success are the ability to Share, Cooperate, and Show Kindness (empathy).
I thought this study was amazing and yet not surprising at all. I would love to interpret this as nice people in life come out on top. But I don't think that's what this study really found. It found that kids who have strong social and emotional skills have the greatest personal and professional success. In kindergarten, kids who are developing strong social and emotional skills understand they have more success and popularity with their peers by sharing, cooperating, and being kind. As these kids age, they may not be categorized as "the nice kid," because the "the nice kid" is often really "the quiet kid." And quiet kids are sometimes quiet, because they don't know how to integrate and socialize with their peers. Instead, these kids may be the leader on the playground or the class president or the club social chair. They better understand how to read people, how to respond to people, how integrate themselves into peer groups, and how to manage emotions and relationships.
As an adult, this study makes perfect sense to me. I know from my own personal experience, my personal and professional growth as an adult are both directly tied to my social and emotional growth. I have a decent IQ and a good formal education. However, the things that have held me back have always been related to emotional and social development. My husband and I have often wondered why some of our friends have succeeded personally and professionally and some seem to constantly struggle. And usually it's tied to emotional and social maturity and the ability to successfully navigate the world around them.
So as a parent, I have to say I loved reading this, because this is something I can take action on. I can't determine my child's IQ. I can probably have minimal influence on my child's athletic ability. But I can definitely help my child learn to share, cooperate, and be kind. And I can also use these traits as benchmarks to help me measure how I'm doing as a parent. It doesn't mean that completing homework and studying for tests isn't also valuable, but it does mean that getting a 90 instead of 100 is probably okay. Your child won't end up working at McDonald's for the rest of his/her life.
The other key lesson the researchers gave to parents - the best way to teach your children to share, cooperate, and be kind is to role model those traits. So if you want your child to have a better chance at happiness and success in life, go home today and cooperate with your spouse, share with your friends, and be kind to your children.
Research Summary:
The study team tracked 753 male and female subjects. As kindergartners in the early 1990s, they were rated by teachers on a scale of one to five on skills such as sharing, being helpful, and listening to others.
The researchers followed the kindergartners for the next 20 years, noting their positive and negative milestones, such as whether they graduated from high school and college, had a police record, or dealt with substance abuse issues.
The main finding: The kindergartners who scored highest on the social and emotional skill scale were up to four times more likely to turn out to be employed college grads without drug or alcohol problems or a police record. “For every one-point change on the one-to-five scale, the kids doubled their chances of being successful,” says Jones.
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