About a month ago, my mom sent me a Pinterest pin with a picture of a box in the garage. On the box, it read "If you leave toys out, they go in the box. Do a chore and earn them back." I thought that sounds awesome, but I don't have time to find a box and do this right now. So I filed it away for future use.
About two days later, in a total fit of rage because my children (ages 6 and 3) were completely ignoring me when I asked them to pick up toys, I announced they had 5 minutes to finish picking up toys. Everything that had not been picked up in that 5 minutes was going into a bag in the garage and they could earn it back. Well, needless to say, this news didn't sit well with my highly sensitive daughter. And to be fair, I should have presented this at a calm moment so the result was a meltdown rather than picking up toys. On the flip side, my 3 year old did try to pick up toys. In fact, he oddly commented that I was very smart. (love that kid!) But he couldn't do it all himself. So I was left with plenty of toys to add to my bag -- A shopping bag I grabbed from the garage and just hung up on a hook already in the garage. (No work involved here.)
After I put the kids to bed (my daughter feeling very sad), I wondered if I had made a mistake. Would my daughter feel defeated? Would my son even understand?
Well, the next morning, my daughter came upstairs and the first thing she asked was if she could feed the cat and earn a toy back. Holy cow! I was amazed. Had I discovered something miraculous here?
That night they both asked if they could help set the table. Why yes, you can! Then, when I asked them to pick up toys before bed time, toys were picked up faster than ever. It was amazing. I only had to ask once, and I didn't help one bit.
So since this consequence seemed to be so effective with picking up toys (and very easy for mom to execute), I decided to extend it to other rules. We had created some new house rules. And guess what? Losing a toy of mom's choice is now the consequence for breaking 3 of those rules. And where does the toy go? Into the bag.
So now I've created this endless cycle of toys going into the bag and my children desperate to do chores to earn them back. It is brilliant! Last night both children happily cleared the table after dinner knowing they were earning a toy back. It was the easiest clean up ever. My son lost two trains trying to stay in bed at bedtime, but after losing two, he decided to cut his losses and just stay in bed. Awesome.
What I've observed in the two weeks we have been doing this is this:
1. Our kids are much more willing and eager to pick up toys
2. Our kids are much more willing to look for ways to help and they happily accept offers to help
3. They are following the other rules much better - listening and speaking nicely to each other
4. Mom and dad are less stressed and burdened and happier
5. The kids are less stressed and more willing to cooperate
6. Life is happier!
And a simple shopping bag helped accomplish all of this. Let me know if you try it and what happens at your house!
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