Do You Take Vacations Without Your Kids?

Recently we took our first vacation without our kids since before our son was born 3 years ago.  It was our 10th wedding anniversary, and my husband wanted to celebrate.  He wanted to go to Grand Cayman and go diving (which we haven't done in 8 years).  To be fair, I wanted to celebrate, too.  I even wanted to go diving, too, but the thought of figuring out the logistics of making sure everything was taken care of so that we could leave for 7 days seemed very overwhelming.

What's the dilemma you ask?  Well, let me tell you it takes a village to let mommy and daddy go away.

1.  We had to find a caretaker for our daughter here, so she could stay at home and go to school.

• My parents couldn't do this, because my dad still works.  So we ended up using my mother-in-law, who has never taken care of our daughter for more than 2 hours previously.  Partially because of trust and partially because of her interest.  But needless to say, this was a big leap of faith that required a lot of preparation.  We had trial runs.  She practiced taking our daughter to school and picking her up at the bus stop.  We had longer babysitting stints.  Nana took our daughter on outings.  All so our daughter (well, and us, too) would trust that Nana was prepared.  We created a daily checklist of everything that had to be done each day to care for our daughter, the animals, and the house.  We created manuals to operate all of the technology in our house.  We created a phone list of everyone under the sun who might be of help if something went wrong.  Seriously.  We did all of that.  But it gave everyone peace of mind.

2.  Our solution to the first problem, led us to another dilemma.  How can we ensure our highly sensitive daughter doesn't feel abandoned?  This one weighed on me a lot.  I could just picture our daughter in tears calling us every night saying she wanted us to come home.  Ugghh.  That would not be relaxing.:)

• We needed Nana to drive our daughter to my parents house for the weekend so our daughter could be with her brother and participate in Camp Grandmama and Granddad, too.
• We left small gifts and love notes for her to open everyday, so she would know we were thinking of her.
• We made sure her teacher knew what was happening that week, so she could be prepared for our daughter's emotional stress.
• We made sure Nana was SUPER prepared, so that our daughter never doubted Nana.
• Nana planned fun activities for the two of them every night.  I think they largely included eating McDonald's and shopping at Target, but hey, everyone seemed to have fun.

3.  We had to take care of everything else.

• Oh yeah - our son.  We had to get him to Grandmama and Granddad's house 200 miles away.
• Jobs
• Family businesses
• Pet Sitter
• Diver refresher course
• Travel preparations

When I thought about everything in my head, I thought it seemed like too much work and too emotionally overwhelming to have a few days of vacation.  Truthfully, I agreed to the trip because I really thought there was about a 50% chance of my mother-in-law flaking and I wouldn't have to figure everything out. 

But as the trip got closer, it looked like it was really going to happen.  And you know what?  It did happen!  And...everything went smoothly.  Everyone lived.  The trip was great.  I highly recommend Grand Cayman by the way.  And our daughter didn't even want to talk to use while we were gone - not because she was mad, but because she was too interested in other things to talk to mommy and daddy.  It really did all seem like a small miracle.  

And just as importantly, my husband and I had a great time.  We reconnected and recuperated.  We got to to adult things - Like hang out at a swim up bar, sleep past 7:00 am, live on a spontaneous, flexible schedule, read a book, eat seafood for every meal, oh and the list could go on.  

There are a few things I learned from this experience:

1.  Our marriage and relationship deserved the work that went into this trip.  At this stage, it is an effort to get alone time, but the effort is critical.  I get that now.  Vacations probably won't seem carefree again for at least 16 years, so I better get used to this.

2.  I gained a deeper trust in our family.  I am frequently known to be a control freak and this trip took a big leap of faith.  Now I know I can count on my family members and kids to help out more.  They all took one for the team, and they did a great job!

3.  It will be easier the next time.  I'm not ready to do this again tomorrow, but I know the next time we do this, it will be much easier.  So that means we can still take couple trips without the kids occasionally, and that is awesome!

I Was Skinny Fat

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about my ongoing weight maintenance battle.  Basically, I do well for a year or two and then, something happens like I get pregnant (and I don't mean gaining the normal 25-35 pounds) or we have a major life change and I fall off the wagon.

This time, I fell off the wagon during the holidays last year.  I thought no big deal.  I'll jump on Weight Watchers (my go to) after the holidays and take care of it.  Well, January came, and I signed up for WW like half of America does.  Usually, you see a big weight loss at the beginning, which is very motivating.  This time though, after the first week, I lost a big goose egg.  Zero.  Next week came, same story.  The third week came, still nothing.  I wasn't cheating.  I'm totally dedicated to counting all points.  I just could not figure out why it wasn't working this time.  It had always worked for me before.

Could it be that I'm old?  Well, maybe.  But it seemed like it had to be more than that.

I decided maybe I should try to cut my carbs more.  So I persisted and still no weight loss.  So I decided to up my protein.  However, most of my internet research led me to believe that most Americans eat plenty of protein and this probably wasn't my problem.  But I knew that I had never been a big protein eater. As an adult, I recognized the importance of it, so I tried to make conscious protein decisions. But was I eating enough?  I decided to actually calculate my daily protein intake.  Sadly, I found it was only 30-40 grams a day - even when I was trying to eat more!   Intuitively, I knew that wasn't enough, especially for someone who was running 25 miles a week up (doing hills, too).  And again, after reading all of the internet research about how much muscle women lose each year after the age of 25 and through pregnancy, I felt I had found my problem.

I had eaten away all of my muscle.  I looked down at my legs and in the mirror at my backside, and what I saw confirmed my hypothesis.  I was skinny fat.  My metabolism just wasn't functioning optimally.  I estimated I was at about 30% body fat.  Holy cow!  So I set a goal for myself to eat 70-80 grams of protein day.  There is a marketing campaign out there encouraging people to eat 90 grams a day.  So I still may not be getting enough, but 70-80 grams of protein is WAY more protein than I have ever eaten on a daily basis.  The other thing I focused on was making sure I ate protein EVERY time I eat.  I learned that you crave less sugar (because you have a steady blood sugar level) if you have a steady dose of protein, and you burn more calories digesting protein than you do digesting carbs and fat.

So I began planning a new diet that would get me to 70-80 protein grams daily but have no more than 25-30 grams of added sugar (I don't count fruit).  Btw, this is not considered a low carb diet by any means.  It's also not a high protein diet.  I also started spinning, which is categorized as a high intensity interval training workout (HIIT), which is supposed to be optimal for fat burning.  And I started incorporating sprints into my runs, and I shortened my runs.  I don't feel compelled to always run 5 miles now to get a good workout.

The next week, I stepped on the scale.  No weight loss. In fact, I had gained a bit.  No worries. I felt better and I felt more toned.  More weeks passed, more weight gained but I could pinch less fat.  Huh...interesting.  I persisted despite the fact that the scale (which we all love to measure by) was not being my friend.  I also noticed that my clothes began fitting differently.  They were looser around my waist but tighter around my legs and hips.  Oh no.  Was this right?

Well, I will skip to the 3/4 of the way punch line.  After eating this way for 8 months now, I have gained 10 pounds but lost 6% body fat.  My clothes fit normally again, and I am way more toned than I was 8 months ago.  In fact, I've lost fat in places where the fat has been since I was 21.  I see more muscle tone in my legs than I've had since I was in college.  My goal is to lose another 4-6% body fat to get to a fitter 18-20% total body fat.  I had a physical recently and discussed my new diet with my doctor, and he agreed I was taking the right strategy.  He also noticed my blood work (which wasn't bad before) had improved, too.  My blood pressure had dropped (100/70 with a pulse of 68) and my triglycerides were 47 (Should be <150.  Ideal is <100)!  I doubt I have ever had a t-level that low.  Another extra bonus?  I no longer have keratosis pilaris (little red bumps on the back of your arms or on your legs).  I've had that forever and nothing ever got rid of it! Turns out KP can be a sign of a gluten allergy.  Now I don't know if I'm allergic to gluten, but it was probably a sign I was eating too much of it.  Because after having KP for 25 years, I no longer have it at all. 

The amazing thing about this new way of eating for me is that even when I don't work out, I lose body fat.  In fact, I noticed once I got to month 7, my body really seemed to start burning fat quickly!  Everyday when I wake up, I can pinch less fat.  It's amazing and I don't feel like I'm trying hard.  Because the other amazing thing that happened is I don't crave carbs.  I never crave pasta, bread, cake or cookies any more.  In fact, sometimes when I try to eat bread, it doesn't even taste that good.  We go to a pizza place, and I order meatballs and salad and it tastes awesome.  I never thought that would be me.

I definitely want to clarify that I'm not a nutritionist nor am I recommending this approach for everyone.  But if you've been a carb addict and a protein non-addict most of your life (and you are nearing middle age), this dietary approach might work for you.

If you're curious, this is what a typical day of food looks like for me:

Breakfast - 25 grams of protein. 1 gram of sugar.

• Quaker Weight Control oatmeal plus 2 tbsp of gelatin protein powder
• Made with skim milk
• Banana or blueberries on top (I eat a banana if I'm going for a run)

Lunch - 31 grams of protein.  12 grams of sugar.

• Cup of raw stir fly veggies
• 2 tbsp of Boathouse Farms salsa ranch yogurt dressing
• 1/2 cup of chili pistachios
• 2 hard boiled eggs (I make them at the beginning of the week and they last a long time)
• Light & Fit Greek yogurt with raspberries on top (Dark Chocolate Raspberry is awesome!)

Snack  - 12 grams of protein.  3 grams of sugar.

• 1/2 cup of 2% cottage cheese
• blueberries on top

Dinner - ~15 grams of protein.  ~5 grams of sugar.

• Whatever the family is eating.  I eat all of the meat and veggies first and just a few tablespoons of the carb.

Dessert - 12 grams of protein.  7 grams of sugar.

• Light & Fit Greek yogurt with raspberries on top

Weekend - We eat out a lot.  I just focus on protein and veggies and try to watch the calories by limiting my portions.

I still drink alcohol, but I save it for the weekends.  And I just drink skinny margaritas and red wine.  Vodka is probably ultimate low sugar alcoholic drink, but hey, this is where I splurge:).  I do occasionally indulge in dark chocolate, too.  I've tried to eat the 90% cacao to really cut sugar, but it just doesn't taste that good.  So 70% cacao is where I've ended up.

I also want to say I have nothing against Weight Watchers.  I believe in it, but it doesn't always force you to eat the right balance of protein and carbs for your specific needs.

Stay tuned.  I will report back once I hit my 20% goal!  I may even post a picture:).