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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

The Creepiest Things My (and Other Kids) Have Said

I'm sitting in our living room one night after the kids have gone to bed.  It's quiet and I'm finally relaxing and watching TV.  I suddenly feel like someone is behind me.  I turned around to see just the top of my two year old's daughter's head...her eyes starting blankly at me from behind the couch.  No speaking, no acknowledgement, just quiet staring.  Scared the poop out of me.  It was like every creep, scary movie with kids in it that I've ever seen.

Of course, she wasn't trying to be scary.  She was bored and wanted to get out of bed and was smart enough to know if she was quiet, her time out of bed would be prolonged.  And it also inspired this blog post.  I found a thread on Reddit of some of the unintentional, creepy things kids say and do.



1.  I was tucking in my two year old.  He said, "Goodbye, dad."  I said, "No, we say good night."  He said, "I know, but this time it's goodbye."  Had to check on him a few times in the night to make sure he was still there.

2.  My daughter would said Spanish curse words in her sleep in a Tony-from-The-Shining voice when she was 5.  She didn't know how to speak Spanish when she was awake.

3.  I wake up to find my three year old standing by the bed staring at me inches away from my face with a huge grin on his face.  "What are you doing?" I finally say. "Nothing" still grinning.  At this point I realize he's got something behind his back.  "Are you holding something." "No." I look anyway.  He's hiding out largest carving knife behind his back.

4.  My brother grew up being terrified of water, I'm 4 years older than him and during the nightly battle for bathtime when he was about 3 or 4 I asked him why he was so scared of the water.  He looked at me and I remember this word for word, "I was in a big unsinkable ship, we hit the biggest iceberg and then it was a really busy and then I got really cold and wet I went to a warm bright place and waited until my next family came."  My mum heard it all and decided bathtime was over.  Creepy thing is my brother was born April 15th 1992 - the Titanic sunk April 15th 1912.

5.  He was 6 going on 7 and we had this thing where I would hold him down and pretend to eat his face (insert nom nom nom sounds) and he would always respond with "stop it" and laughter.  Well this day everything is going as usual and when I get up he says, "I'll never eat your face, papi.  I'll cut it off and wear it as a mask."

6.  My first son at three years old, as he was falling asleep in the car: "Last time, I died in a fire."  I almost drove off the road.

7.  Our family ran out of gas and decided to stop at the gas station when suddenly my younger sister (3yo) starts talking with someone in the car.. btw she is sitting alone in the last row of the car.. she said the girl's name is Tiffany. She said Tiffany is a nice girl but she doesn't have an arm.  All of us didn't really believe her.  Suddenly she asked her to stop at a river and told us that Tiffany wanted to stop here. She told us that Tiffany thanks us for the trip and she waved goodbye at Tiffany.

8.  I was baby sitting my 4 year old sis and at the time I was 13. So she fell asleep on the couch and just sat next to her and started watching tv. A bit later she woke up and I asked her if she needed anything. She said no, then got up and got some water, then said “Will, why did you have to kill Daddy?”. I asked what she was talking about and she just said “you know, the man in the closet.” So I asked her which closet, she just said “haha, he said no telling.” Then she was about to sit back on the couch but I made her go to her room to sleep. I checked each closet while holding a kitchen knife, just to make sure. But my dad died when I was only 5. She shouldn’t even know about his death.

9.  My daughter saw me getting dry skin off my shoulder after a bad sunburn and asked if she could keep my skin flakes and put them in a jar so when I die she can make a mommy mask and remember me always.

10.  One night I let my then 3 year old sleep with me because my husband was gone. It was dead quiet in the house and she whispers “Ive got ya where I want ya and now I’m gonna eat ya”.

11.  When my daughter was 3 she woke up one morning looking rough. I asked if she slept okay and she said, “No! Popaw Mike kept me up all night pinching my toes!” My dad, her Popaw Mike, passed away 8 years before she was born and that’s how he used to wake my brother and I up when we were little.

Happy Halloween!