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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

This Product Is Like the Miracle Blanket for Big Kids!

Whew Summer is here!  Spring time was rough at our house.  Largely, because spring brought lots of thunderstorms, which terrify both of our children.  That of course, resulted in sleep deprivation for mom and dad and for the kids.  A double whammy.  But in addition to just the typical thunderstorm issue, our 3 year old son (who had historically been a fantastic sleeper) decided he couldn't stay in his bed to save his life.  It didn't matter what was going on in the atmosphere, it was taking us 1-2 hours every night to get him to stay in his bed.  This literally drove mom (referring to myself in 3rd person here) to the brink of insanity.  No amount of Super Nanny tactics worked.  No amount of comforting, checking in, etc. worked.  He repeatedly said he was scared, but we couldn't identify a cause of what was making him scared...so to be honest, I didn't believe him.  I thought that was an excuse to get out of bed.  He didn't act scared.  He acted like he wanted to party.  But just like other challenging periods in our life, "necessity is the mother of invention."

I should mention that during this time period, we decided to get our son evaluated for Sensory Processing Disorder.  He had shown signs of this in the past, but it wasn't clear to me if he was just a typical boy or if there was something else going on.  (I'll write more about this in the future.) More specifically, we learned in his diagnosis that his vestibular system isn't functioning and developing properly.  What's a vestibular system you might ask?  The vestibular system is the sensory system that provides the leading contribution about sense of balance and spatial orientation for the purpose of coordinating movement with balance.  As the occupational therapist describes it, he doesn't have a good sense of where his body is in space.  Therefore, he always feels off balance.

Well, this explained so many things!  Why he runs into walls and furniture, why he is scared to walk down stairs by himself, why he can't sit still in a chair (he feels like he's falling out), and it turns out...why he can't stay in his bed.  When he lays down in a big kid bed (not a crib or toddler bed), he feels like he could fall out of the bed.  He's 3.5, so he's really too old for baby beds, so how do I solve this problem?  Therapists typically recommend using weighted blankets.  We have a weighted blanket but have been unsuccessful getting our son to use it.  He prefers his fuzzy blanket, and he understandably thinks using both blankets is too hot.  So I was at a loss.

One afternoon after trying to get him to nap for over an hour, he asked me to lay down with him.  I said, "Your twin bed is too small for both of us and all of your pillows (which he prefers to line the wall on the side of his bed.)"  He insisted.  I was exhausted, so I agreed.  We squished into the bed and in 30 seconds, he was asleep.  Interesting.

So I pondered how could I replicate this "squished" feeling for him.  That evening I suggested he sleep in his sleeping bag on his bed.  He loved the idea!  Bedtime was significantly easier.  However, his sleeping bag fell out of the bed in the middle of the night, which was not good for a child who is afraid of falling out of the bed.  So the next day, I took his bed sheet and flipped it.  I tucked it into the mattress around the sleeping bag to hold the sleeping bag in the bed.  Our son loved the idea!  Bed time again was easier, not great but better.  It only took 30 minutes instead of 1-2 hours to keep him in his bed.

But the perfectionist in me said surely, I can improve this some more.  Low and behold I found the SnugBug.  A mom in North Carolina makes these, and it's genius.  It's a spandex sheet/sleeve that fits around the mattress.  The result is basically a swaddle for child.  Our son LOVES this thing!  He is so happy to get in bed.  He stays in bed.  AND he goes to sleep in 20 minutes.  He has literally never done that in his life.  It has always taken him at least 30-60 minutes to go to sleep even when he was a baby.  He's sleeping 11-11.5 hours a night instead of the 10 hours he was getting previously.



This isn't the bedtime solution for every child who doesn't want to go to bed.  But if you have a "clumsy" child or a child with SPD or vestibular issues, this might be an idea you want to consider.  Totally life changing!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

What ONE Thing Do You Want To Teach Your Children?

You always hear people say things like, "My mother always told me..." or "The one thing I learned from my dad is..."  That has always stuck with me for some reason.  While I learned a lot from my parents, I really can't think of one thing that my parents told me repeatedly.  So maybe that's why I have found the idea that some people have sort of a life motto to fall back on to be interesting and kind of comforting.

Now that I'm a parent, I have given this idea of a "life motto" more and more thought.  As a marketer, I can certainly appreciate the value of communicating one clear, concise message.  Humans aren't good at remembering much more than that.  So if I had just one thing I wanted my kids to learn from me what would it be?  Obviously, there are so many things to consider - be kind, give back, follow your heart, never give up.  The list goes on.  But oddly, it was watching The Martian that finally gave me my A-ha.

Have you seen The Martian?  If you're like us, you either haven't seen it or you saw it two years after it came out.  Either way, it's about an astronaut (Matt Damon) who is in an accident during a mission to Mars.  His team believes he's dead and leaves him behind on Mars as they make their miraculous escape.  But Matt Damon is not dead.  He awakes, realizes he's alone on Mars, and it will take months if not years for anyone to rescue him...so he has to figure out how to live on Mars.  After that, it's basically a series of problems occurring which Matt Damon must continue to solve in order to live another day.  During which he says some great lines like, "Yes, of course duct tape works in a vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere.  Duct tape is magic and should be worshipped."  And "I don't want to come off arrogant here, but I'm the best botanist on the planet (planet being Mars)." LOL.

Okay, I digressed.  So back to my point.  At the end of the movie, he is rescued and returns to earth to become a teacher at NASA.  And at the end he tells his students who are training to be astronauts his one piece of advice,

"At some point, everything's going to go south on you.  You're going to say, 'This is it.  This is how I end.'  Now, you can either accept that, or you can get to work.  You solve one problem, and then you solve the next problem, and the next, and if you solve enough problems, you get to go home."

It occurred to me that if I could only teach my kids one thing it's that the secret to navigating life is to look at life as a series of challenges.  The more challenges you overcome, the better you will do.  

Growing up, I certainly dealt with perfectionism and the fear of failure.  This approach to life made me fear problems and challenges.  Problems were a sign of failure.  This fear really held me back.  There were so many things I didn't try or do, because I feared not having immediate success.  I didn't think I could handle the feelings of disappointment or failure.  If I had just looked at life the other way - That of course problems occur.  Everyone faces challenges, problems and failure.  Even with the best planning and future-thinking in the world, you will still encounter problems.  Therefore, just expect problems, expect challenges.  And when the problems occur (because they will), you aren't defeated, helpless or angry.  You just see it as the next challenge the world or God or whatever you believe in has presented to you.  And when you solve the problem, you will be better and more successful than you were yesterday.  And if you are goal oriented (which my daughter is), consider that the person who solves the most problems is the winner!:)

In fact, we had our motto printed on a canvas and it hangs on the wall where we walk into our house, so we can see it and be reminded of it everyday.



This life approach might not speak to you or be your family's philosophy.  But just my two cents as a mom and a marketer - I think a life motto is a pretty cool gift to give your kids.  We want to teach our kids lots of things, but during confusing and hard times when they are older, our kids may lose track of the 1,236 things we've taught them through the years.  But if they have a life motto, it gives your child an easy-to-remember philosophy to fall back on.  It lets your voice be heard in their heads even when you aren't there.  And what parent of an 18 year old doesn't want that?


Wednesday, June 1, 2016

8 Things Mom Is Taking a Vaca From This Summer

I never thought I would look forward to summers, especially in Texas.  It's hot.  It's hot.  Oh, and did I mention it's hot.  But now that I have a child in school who has to be at school everyday by 7:45 or mom faces the embarrassment of walking into the school office to fill out a tardy slip, I have finally reached the day where I appreciate the point of summer vacation.  Yes, I'm sure the kids like having a break from school but let's face it MOM likes having a break from school...and activities...and strict schedules.  You know the drill.  So to celebrate, I made a list of the 8 (surprisingly, I couldn't swear off 10 things) things I'm not going to do for the next 2.5 months -

1.  Set the alarm - Yes, I still have to work, so it's not like I'm totally on vacation.  BUT my kids are still early risers, so if we get up at 7:15 instead of 6:45, we will all survive.  In fact, hopefully we will do more than survive.  It's amazing how much happier 30 minutes of extra sleep can make a 3 year old.

2.   Be a drill sergeant in the morning - Oh, I hate this role.  Every morning, I'm in constant motion getting breakfast on the table, giving kids time warnings, getting tooth brushes prepared, brushing hair, giving more time warnings, cleaning syrup out of hair, giving one more time warning....all before we hurriedly hop in the car with quick kisses and I love yous...mostly in hopes that they forgive me for being a drill sergeant every morning.

3.  Be at every practice or class - For the most part, we don't do lots of activities during the summer.  But my daughter wanted to take gymnastics this summer, and our son is taking swimming lessons.  During the school year, I'm a stickler for going to every practice or class and being on time.  I feel like it's a commitment the child made, and they need to keep it unless they are sick or it's a special circumstance.  But you know what?  If we don't make to everything this summer, I just don't care.  Wasting my money hurts a bit, but the freedom it allows us more than makes up for it.

4.  Making lunches that embody health everyday - My son goes to Montessori school, so I can only slide on his lunch a little or it's frowned upon.  And I hate to be frowned upon.  But my daughter's summer camp won't give a flying flip.  So if Lunchables (which she loves) go to camp this summer, we will all survive.

5.  Live by our routine and schedule everyday - This is a tough one, because kids behave better when they have routine and schedule.  Our children (a toddler and a child with anxiety) definitely behave better with a routine, so often, we live by the same schedule for purely selfish motives.  We don't want to deal with tantrums and arguments.  But I will be the first to admit that mom and dad get woefully tired of living in Ground Hog Day.  We want to say, "Screw it.  Let's go get ice cream for dinner."  Well, we are going to do a lot more of that this summer!

6.  Check school folders - Okay.  This is a given.  Kids don't have school folders and homework during the summer, but I just wanted to highlight and celebrate that it's one less thing mom has to do everyday.  Woohoo!

7.  Do the same stuff over and over again - Refer to my comment about Ground Hog Day above.  We are usually so tired from the week that we tend to do the same things over and over again on the weekend.  This summer we are going to new restaurants (ones that don't have play grounds) and new places.  There may not be napping every weekend, but my 3 year old will live.

8.  Read the news - Okay, I may not swear it off completely.  But let's face it, almost everything in the news is sad, scary, or useless.  And in an era where the biggest news cycle centers around Donald Trump, I think my happiness could be at least 5% happier everyday by not knowing what's going on in the world.  I'll take that 5% for the summer.

So that's my plan, and I'm sticking to it.  Here's to enjoying a more carefree few months!  Hope you enjoy your summer, too.