My New Year's Resolution? No Concealer in 2016.

Did you make a New Year's resolution?  I made one.  Frankly, I usually don't make any, because it's just something to be broken in 3 months.  But I decided there was one I could make and keep, because it supports my need to save time and make life a little simpler.  I resolved to not wear concealer in 2016.  Yes, yes, that does sound a bit shocking considering I'm 41, but I'm telling you, that's what I've resolved to do.  Why?  Because I can now.

About 6 months ago, a friend of mine asked me to coffee.  I knew she was selling a new skincare product (Rodan + Fields), so I accepted a little reluctantly.  You see I'm a drugstore skincare girl (Neutrogena, Burts Bees, and Cover Girl all the way).  I have been blessed with good skin, so I have never really seen a reason for buying expensive skincare or makeup.  And even when I've tried more expensive products just to see if they are magical, I really haven't seen a difference.  So I wasn't looking forward to having to politely decline her sales pitch.

We met and chatted and I prepared for the pitch.  It turns out Rodan + Fields is from the dermatologists who created ProActive.  That got my attention a bit.  After all, I used to work in pharmaceutical marketing and I had actually questioned our physicians once about why ProActive was different and actually worked.  I learned it worked because your skin needs all three steps to effectively treat the skin issues (in this case acne).  So you could use just one step (like the cleanser) and see some results, but it won't really work unless you treat your skin with all 3 steps.

Well, I didn't have acne, at least not a lot.  So did I really need this?  I explained that my skin was mostly fine.  My only imperfections (bc after all it was fine) were:
1.  The redness on my cheeks, which I had discussed with my dermatologist.  My dermatologist explained that was just broken blood vessels that are now more visible because my aging skin is getting thinner.  And basically, there is nothing I can do about it except wash my face with cold water and wear concealer.
2.  The circles under my eyes.  Again, mostly a result of thinning skin, not lack of sleep.  Not much I could do but apply concealer.
3.  Some oiliness I seem to have developed as I've gotten older.  I have to reapply powder several times a day to control it.
4.  2-3 pimples that show up every month...again, something that has come with age or a change in diet.  Concealer does the trick.
5.  Last but not least, my skin often gets irritated if I try anti-aging products.  I want to prevent wrinkles, but I'm always hesitant to try products because they might make my skin red and irritated.

She said, "It sounds like you have sensitive skin."  What?  Me?  No, it's normal.  Right?  Well, now that you mention it and I laid out all of my flaws, I guess I do have sensitive skin.  Okay, so what does that mean?

Conveniently, she said, "You should try the Soothe line of products.  It comes with a cleanser, a soothing cream, moisturizer, and sunscreen.  And then you could add some eye cream to it.  Soothe builds up the lipids in your skin, making it less sensitive and thicker.  Therefore, the redness and circles will diminish and you might be able to use anti-aging products."  Whoa.  Whoa. Whoa.  That sounds like a lot of money to solve a few imperfections.  I don't think so.  "But...out of curiosity how much would that cost?"

She pulls out her trusty booklet and calculates it and says it depends on how fast you use it but probably about $65/month.  That's crazy.  I'm not spending that much on skin care.  But wait, what do I spend now?  So being the business nerd I am, I pulled out some paper and calculated how much I spend right now.  I use Neutrogena toner ($5/month), Olay Regenerist serum ($18/month), Neutrogena anti-wrinkle eye cream ($18/month), Burts Bees sensitive moisturizer ($10/month), and Neutrogena Healthy Skin cleanser ($6/month), Neutrogena sunscreen ($8/month).  I added that up and surprisingly, it came to $67/month.  And it was 6 steps a day for $67 vs. 5 steps with Rodan + Fields for $65.

Interesting.   Do I have to commit to this?  No.  Can I cancel any time?  Yes.  Can I get my money back?  Yes.  Okay.  Defeated, I said, "I'll try it."  So my products arrive the very next day on my doorstep.  I do love that!  I started using everything.

The first thing I noticed immediately was the oiliness completely went away.  I could leave the house without even putting powder on.  But if I did apply powder, I could guarantee my skin wouldn't get oily at all that day.

Then, after about a month had passed, I realized I had not had a single blemish.  Not even a hint of one.  Huh.  Interesting.

After about 3 months, I noticed I hardly had to use concealer on my cheeks or under my eyes to conceal the redness or the circles under my eyes.  I was putting on powder and Chapstick and walking out of the house everyday feeling great!

You know what the cherry on top of this story is?  Soothe actually works to build up the lipids in my skin, making it less sensitive.  So next month I'm going to start the anti-aging treatment and start preventing some wrinkles!  I never thought that would be possible.

So hence, I came to my resolution of not wearing concealer in 2016.  If you see me (and hopefully admire my skin), you can know that it is all me.  Maybe some eye makeup and lipstick, but definitely no foundation or concealer.  You can also know that I'm saving $2/month, 1 minute a day (in application time), and a monthly trip to Target all to look even better than before!  Not bad.

If you're interested in Rodan + Fields, you can learn more here.

#noconcealer2016

For The Love Of Running

So I'll confess, this is a post from last year, but I decided to re-post it to kick off January.  We all need a little motivation in January, so hopefully this helps you if you made a resolution to exercise or run more in 2016!

It's that time of year - the time of year when lots of people decide to exercise more.  So for those of you considering taking up running for exercise, I thought I would offer a little inspiration.

I run.  I run a decent amount - 25 miles a week - but I'm by no means a competitive runner or even a marathon runner.  But I'm sharing my story because I went from absolutely hating running to really liking (not quite loving) running.  So it might help somebody else get over that initial hump of hate.

15 years ago, I couldn't run down the block.  I couldn't think of many things that sounded worse.  But out of peer pressure (I lived in San Francisco and was 1 of like 3 people who didn't run) and the desire to have something cool to say on a first date ("I'm really into running"), I decided to give it a shot.  First a 5K.  Then a 12K.  And eventually a half marathon.  I was disciplined in training and completed the goals.  But did I like it?  Not really.  I would rather be watching a Real World marathon (remember those?  great for hang over days).

I spent many years in cycles of running for a year and then, not running because my life got busy and stressful.  Then, I would push through the agony of being out of shape and start all over again.  Finally, I got really tired of pushing through that agony.  So tired that I stopped the cycle.  I finally realized starting over again sucks way more than just going out and exercising.  And truthfully, reminding myself of that is sometimes what gets me out the door for the run.

So you know what happened along the way?  I actually really found the love in running.  It is by far the best, healthiest stress reliever in my life!  I can do it anywhere with minimal gear.  And most importantly, it is the one place I don't hear "mommy" or a ding of a new email/text or the phone ringing (do not run with your phone).  And even if I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day or my day isn't going well, if I get a run in, I feel like it was a good day.  Love that!

Here are my words of inspiration to get you going today - 

1.  The pain of the run is less than the pain of being out of shape.

2.  Look forward to the 30+ minutes of no one being able to talk to you and ask you for something!

3.  And if you need a 3rd, buy some cool new running shoes or clothes.  That gives me a extra boost.

My Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

I just want to start out by saying I do love Christmas.  Really, I do.  But I have to be honest - despite this season bringing about the wonderful feeling of giving, I often find it brings about some feelings of neglect.  Mommy tends to do all of the giving and little of the receiving.  So I pondered why this is.  Is it because I have a 3 year old and 5 year old who haven't mastered the art of giving?  Oh surely, not.  Is it because my husband is a bit of a Grinch and feels like Christmas is something to be survived, not celebrated?  No, no, of course not.  Is it because I receive at least one email a day from someone asking me to buy something, donate something, or volunteer for something?  I can't imagine that's true.  Is it because I have to orchestrate all of the happiness of the season for the whole family?  Again, no, that just can't be it.  So I've come to the conclusion it must be because I don't write a letter to you any more to clearly ask for what I want for Christmas. So I decided to fix that problem this year!  Here's what I want this year -

1.  My children to learn the art of using their inside voices.  If I only got one thing, this would be it, Santa.  If nothing else, a little laryngitis for awhile might work.

2.  A special elf or helper to do the laundry every week.  I mean can't we make Tickles be productive?

3.  The ability to eat an endless supply of dark chocolate almonds without gaining weight.  Oh and cookie butter, too!  Really - this is a not a lot to ask.  You don't even have to supply the dark chocolate almonds or cookie butter.

4.  Make fantasy football and Draft Kings illegal.  And whoever invented daily fantasy football should get coal in his (assuming only a man could do this) stocking.

5.  Make Instacart or Amazon grocery expand to where we live.  Oh how I wish for the day when we will have grocery delivery. That will be a happy, happy day, Santa.

6.  Make my kids think veggies taste like cookies or candy.  How glorious it would be for one of them to ask me, "Mommy, please can we have green beans for dinner tonight?"  I promise this doesn't mean we will be serving you milk and green beans next year.

7.  A magical, non-surgical mommy makeover.  You know - take a little fat out here and there.  Give me a little tummy tuck.  Surely, if you can fly toys for millions of children all over the world in a tiny sleigh led by 9 reindeer, you can get rid of a little cellulite.

8.  Last but not least, if you must put something in your sleigh for me, I'll take a new Tori Burch bag and a Dyson V6 Cordless vacuum.

Thanks, Santa!  Really appreciate it.  I'm feeling better already.

Love,
Mommy...I mean Jennifer

To Elf or Not to Elf? That is the Question!

Like most modern households with young children, we host a little Elf (on the Shelf), Tickles, during the holiday season.  He came to us 3 years ago (care of my mother...love you, mom) and has stayed ever since.  At first, his greatest interest to our daughter was that he occasionally brought candy.  Gradually, our daughter caught on to the humor the elf occasionally exhibited (if mom had time).  I could see some fun in this, but that was usually squashed by the anxiety I would feel waking up in the morning realizing I forgot to move Tickles the night before.

But this year, the elf has become a major source of drama in our house.  It started before Thanksgiving.  My daughter begged us to put up the Christmas decorations, and as it was almost Thanksgiving (and I do love Christmas)...we obliged.  The decorations went up and instantly, our 5.5 year old daughter expected Tickles to appear.  I kindly reminded her that he usually arrives after Thanksgiving (I mean mommy can't find 6 weeks worth of new places for that stupid elf to sit on), so maybe she should be patient.  That had little effect.  Each morning, she eagerly came upstairs and desperately searched the house for Tickles.  And when he was no where to be found, she was heartbroken.

I couldn't stand it.  So...Tickles arrived early.  She was joyous!  Our almost 3 year old son was also happy once he realized candy was involved, but he really couldn't care less about the elf itself.  This lasted for all of one day.  Two days into it, our daughter begins behaving terribly.  I mean isn't that the point of this doll?  It helps keep your kids in line, right?  After a series of 30 questions, my daughter finally bursts into tears and says she's sad that Tickles has to go back to the North Pole.  "Are you worried about him flying back every night?" I say.  "No," she says.  "I don't want him to leave after Christmas and go back to the North Pole.  I want him to stay with us forever."  <BIG SIGH>

You have got to be kidding me.  We have at least 30 more days with this elf and she is already mourning his departure?  And everyday since she has moped around dreading the day her beloved Tickles leaves.  We have had 3 meltdowns over the elf already.  What is the point of this elf?  He's torturing my daughter, and he's torturing me!

But now I'm trapped.  We can't get rid of him this holiday season - that could send her over the edge.  And how would I explain that he never returns next year?  She was bad.  Her brother was bad.  Tickles moved.  Tickles died.  Santa quit.  Santa fired the elves.  Really, no good options.

So I beg of you parents who have yet to introduce this elf to your family - think about it.  Really think about it.  It's a lot of work.  And if you have a sensitive child, the elf could backfire on you.  Do not let the ultra creative parents guilt you into this tradition.  You have plenty other parenting ways you can excel that don't involve remembering to move a doll around every night and creating nightly messes.  I promise.

Am I the Only Mom Who Thinks Time Changes Suck?

Years ago, I used to love "falling back."  What was not to love about it?  You got an extra hour of sleep!  You got an extra hour in your weekend (it almost felt like a vacation)!  And for a short period of time, waking up in the morning didn't feel absolutely painful.

Now "falling back" and "springing forward" suck.  I wish the government would pick a time and stay with it.  As many of you know, adjusting young kids to a new time change is not for the faint-at-heart.  This year "falling back" seems to have been particularly painful in our family.  We were not only battling the time change but our soon-to-be three year old son simultaneously decided now is the time he wants to start getting out of his bed at night and in the morning.

For two entire years (not exaggerating), we have had the absolutely perfect sleeper in our family.  Not once have we gotten up with him in the middle of the night since he was 8 months old.  He didn't make a single peep ever.  He didn't attempt to get out of his toddler bed.  He was perfect.  Amazing, right?  Well, he's done with that.  Now he has discovered he can get out of bed and boy is he interested in all the fun that can come with that.

So once we "fell back," it meant our son was awake at 6 AM and be-bopping out of bed to go wake up his sister.  His sister, as I've mentioned many times before, needs sleep more than anything in life to maintain her emotional stability (and hence mom and dad's sanity).  This of course, led to sleep deprivation for both kids, which led to a downward spiral of behavior and thus, the chaos began.

Once our daughter becomes sleep deprived, she struggles with controlling her anxiety.  That means every time she feels slightly out of control, slightly wronged, or slightly unheard, her anger is level goes sky high.  She hasn't had a serious meltdown in months.  This past week, we've had 3.  I mean the kind where no one in the house can talk, because nothing can be heard except for her.  Anxiety and sleep deprivation cause her to wake in the night, so thus, she started waking us up every night.  That, of course, leads to sleep deprivation of mom and dad...which is never good.  Patience goes down the drain when mom and dad are tired.

Our son isn't significantly better.  After all, he's two.  So in the past two weeks, we have had a meltdown every morning, because either we won't give him the entire box of _____ (cereal, pancakes, etc.) or we won't let him use the adult scissors to cut ______.   And his normal, "No. I do want that" statements have turned into "NOOOOOOOOOO.  I DOOOOOOO WANT THAAAAAAT!!!!!!!"

Oh it's been a joy to be in our house.  What I can say is this isn't our first rodeo with time changes and yes, we know this too shall pass.  The benefit of it getting dark earlier is our kids willingly go to bed earlier and gradually they are sleeping later and gradually, peace will be restored.  But man, I just wish Congress (by that I mean the men who probably had wives who dealt with this) could experience a time change with young kids just once and I'm sure they would clearly vote to just pick a time and stick with it!

My Top Tips for Making the Holidays Easy and Pain Free

Once you get married and have kids and especially if you also host the holidays, the holidays get stressful fast.  Whether it's balancing the families and in-laws or dealing with hosting while also caring for small children or just choosing between all of the events and parties, it can really take the fun out of the holidays.  So over the years, I have cultivated a holiday routine that simplifies my life, because heaven knows, the holidays are full-time mom.  Dad's contribution is the Christmas lights and then, he considers his job done (but to his credit, he does do a bang-up job).  Sorry, I digressed.  But the key here is creating a routine you can repeat each year.  Starting from scratch every year will make the holidays more overwhelming than they need to be.

Here are my tips:

1.  Outsource the meals - Seriously, if you have little kids, there is no joy in spending days cooking a meal for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Everyone is miserable during the cooking process and the kids certainly don't appreciate it.  So...don't do it.  Lots of grocery stores (like Whole Foods) and restaurants sell ready-made fantastic Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  They don't cost that much more than if you made it yourself, and you will also save yourself that painful shopping trip the week of the holiday with other 3 million holiday shoppers.  Do not feel guilty.  Don't let your in-laws make you feel guilty.  If they do, let them cook next year.  Outsource will enable you to really enjoy the day with your kids and family, which is far more meaningful.

2.  Shop online - Given that this is 2015, it seems a little silly to be saying this.  But I still talk to so many friends who are reluctant to do this.  You can get your shopping done in an hour instead of days.  You family doesn't know the difference.  You don't get bonus points for suffering in retail stores.

3.  Dedicate one day to shopping - So for everything you can't buy online (candy, stocking stuffers, food, etc.), dedicate one day to buying these items and call it done.  Personally, I go to Christmas Affair in Austin every year.  They have 200+ booths.  I drink, enjoy, and shop.  I am determined to find everything I need that day and then, I'm done.

4.  Select 3 Events and say No to Everything Else - There are so many things to go to and attend during the holidays that you can feel overwhelmed.  You don't have to feel that way.  I also think it's important to build traditions during the holidays, so I take the approach of choosing a few things we do every year.  That way I know at the beginning of the season what we are doing, what I need to buy tickets for, and what I need to put on the calendar.  We might end up doing other things if we have time and want to, but I don't feel obligated to at all.

5.  Streamline your Christmas Cards - I know a lot of people would say just give up the tradition of the Christmas card.  But I truly like sending and receiving Christmas cards.  For my non-Facebook using friends who live far away, this may be the only time I really get an update on their family.  I don't want to lose that.  BUT Christmas cards can be very time consuming, so here's what I do:

• I have all of my addresses in an Excel spreadsheet
• I have a Word doc that automatically pulls the addresses into a 3 column document that I print on address labels (happy to share my templates if anybody wants them)
• I order stamps from USPS (that's right, I don't even go to the post office)
• I order my cards and return address labels super early.  I made my card in September.
• So all I really have to do is spend 30 minutes assembling my cards, and then, I'm done!  I have even paid the babysitter an extra $20 to stuff Christmas cards for me when I was desperate.

6.  Give photos as gifts - One of the most time consuming holiday activities is trying to figure out what to give the grandparents.  They don't need or really want anything.  So...give them photos and photo gifts.  They like them.  It's easy.  You don't have to rethink this every year.  Just go to Shutterfly and have a ball!

7.  Buy gifts when you travel - If you do have the luxury of traveling to interesting places, buy gifts then.  Everyone loves to shop when they travel, so this gives you a good excuse.  And gifts from your travel experiences are special and let loved ones know you were thinking of them while on vacation.  AND when the holidays come around, you're like, "Wow.  I already have a gift.  Check!"

8.  Make decorating a family affair - What to do with the whole family while you are trapped in the house on Thanksgiving with no where to go?  Decorate.  I make sure the tree (well, who am I kidding...trees, plural...I'm little crazy about Christmas decorating) are setup ahead of time.  Then, the family decorates the trees while we watch the Macy's parade.

9.  Spend as much time as possible doing the things you really enjoy about the holidays - I love listening to Christmas music, so I listen to it all of the time.  Shamelessly.  But it reduces the holiday stress oddly.  I also like looking at Christmas lights (which my kids do too).  We frequently subject my husband to driving around neighborhoods to just look at lights.  It's easy and requires no planning, and I really feel like we are enjoying the holidays.  And lastly, I drink hot chocolate.  This is the one time of year I feel entitled to just drink hot chocolate, because it's a part of the holiday spirit.  

Here's to hoping you survive and hopefully enjoy the holidays with minimal stress!  I know you can do it.

Does Your Child Do These Things?

I write a lot about my daughter and her hypersensitivity to lots of things.  But I don't write as much about my son.   Why?  Well, because he has for the most part coped with our family life and not really required a lot of extra energy or knowledge to understand.  He has been a typical little boy.  He hasn't had developmental delays.  His social skills are developing.  He listens (most of the time) and makes eye contact well.  He communicates very well.  In fact, he's amazingly good at expressing himself and his feelings.  He loves to play and go places.  He is for the most part an awesome little kid.

But he's nearing 3 and he has some...let's call them "quirks"...that don't seem to be going away.  Like what you might ask?

First and foremost, he grabs and touches EVERYTHING.  Always has, ever since he started crawling.  It doesn't matter if you tell him it's hot or dangerous, he still desperately wants to touch everything.  I will tell him my coffee is hot, and he asks if he can put his finger in it and see.  We tell him knives will cut him and give him a big boo and he asks if he can just hold them gently.  Taking him into a store is a huge challenge, because even though he might try to contain his impulse to grab things, he doesn't do it terribly well.  So the trip is a series of  "Don't touch that.  Stop grabbing.  No, don't.  You will break that.  Do I have to put you back in the cart?"

Next on the quirk list is mealtime.  Mealtime with our son sucks.  He seems to be incredibly uninterested in eating.  He doesn't want to sit still.  He refuses to eat with utensils - only wants to eat with his hands.  And when he does eat, he shoves so much in his mouth, he gags and spits it all back out.  But interestingly, when he does choose to eat, he selects foods I wouldn't think kids would love.  He loves chocolate including dark chocolate.  He loves salami.  He loves dates.  He will happily put most things in his mouth.  Now they may be immediately spit out, but he does try it first.

He has started having some serious tantrums.  These are not like our daughter's angry rages where she clearly loses emotional control.  These are clearly fits showing us his displeasure that he isn't getting what he wants.  He's capable of stopping them, but yet he's so frustrated with us, he will continue to throw the tantrum for 30-45 minutes...frequently telling us he doesn't want to calm his body, because he's mad.

Other quirks that are curious but don't bother us include:
1.  Loves to clean.  He will gladly help me with household chores - cleaning tables, floors, vacuuming, etc.
2.  Loves bubbles - like her LOVES bubbles.
3.  He loves to be covered in blankets.  He can rarely just sit on the couch without having a blanket on him.  When he sleeps at night, he insists on being covered with 3 blankets even if it's 95 outside.
4.  He is super affectionate.  Loves hugs, loves to be held, and loves to sit in laps (all of the time).
5.  He asks 60,000 questions about every new thing he encounters and he often asks the same questions over and over.
6.  When he finds something he's interested in (i.e. construction equipment, planes, windmills), he will ask to see the thing over and over again.  I mean as soon as he sees a backhoe, he says, "I want to see more backhoes."
7.  He talks out loud to himself a lot.  He will lay in his bed at night and talk about what happened in his day.  He will give himself pep talks.  He will talk to his buddies.  But it's always completely out loud, not at all in a quiet voice.
8.  He loves jumping, running, being thrown around, spinning in chairs, riding fast rides, etc.
9.  He gets boo boos regularly that he has no idea how they occurred.  These are boo boos that I would hear about for days from our daughter, but our son is surprised to see they exist.
10.  It takes him 45 minutes each night to settle and finally go to sleep.  He kicks, squirms, sits up, talks, etc. until he finally passes out.  I actually bought him a weighted blanket to help soothe him, and he loves it!  The moment I gave it to him, he covered himself completely with it and just laid down on the tile floor and said he was going to sleep.
11.  He LOVES swinging.  I mean loves it.  He will play with other things on the playground, but once he gets on the swing, that's it.  You must endure a tantrum to get him off the swing.  He would probably swing for 5 hours straight if someone would push him for that long.
12.  If there is music playing that he likes, we cannot make the volume loud enough for him.  He just wants it louder.
13.  He runs into things and seems oblivious to things right in front of him.  We will say, "Parker eat your avocado."  Parker says, "Where?"  "Right there."  "Where?"  Yes, he's far-sighted and wears glasses, but I don't think that accounts for this.

So as I typically do, I began to research.  And what I found is that our son appears to have the polar opposite issue that his sister experiences.  He isn't hypersensitive.  He's hyposensitive.  What does that mean?  Some kids, like our daughter, are very easily stimulated by noises, lights, tastes, and textures.  A fire truck can send them into a crazy frenzy.  But hyposensitive kids need louder noises, brighter lights, stronger, tastes, and bolder textures to register with their senses.  Otherwise, they are just kind of bored or underwhelmed with their environments.

Just like hypersensitive kids, hyposensitive kids may only be hyposensitive with certain senses.  With our son, I think he has auditory, tactile, taste, and vestibular (balance) hyposensitivies.  It's possible he has others, but he's just not old enough yet to recognize the visual and olfactory hyposensitivities.  Here's a link to a site that provides more information on each hyposensitivity.

This explains so much to me.  It helps me realize that he isn't just disobedient and messy.  He needs to touch things to experience the world around him and get enough information to understand everything.  He doesn't really taste a lot of the foods we give him, because they aren't spicy or flavorful enough, so he's completely disinterested in mealtime.  He has a hard time sitting still, because he's searching for something more stimulating to calm him down.  He shoves tons of food in his mouth at once to better experience and taste the food.  Little bites don't do anything for him.  He loves lots of blankets, because the heaviness of the blankets feels more soothing and calming to him.  He needs fast moving experiences to stimulate his vestibular system and better develop his sense of balance.

So right now I don't really know what this means for him.  Does he need occupational therapy to better develop his senses?  Can we do more at home to help him?  We'll find out at his 3 year well check when I talk to his doctor.  But what I do know is now I have a much better understanding of why he's doing these things.  We can look for better solutions that will help him and us be less frustrated.

And as a parent, I've learned a lot about how much our senses determine who we are as people.  Our brains are wired to experience the world around us in a particular way.  And every child is wired a little bit differently.  They can be peculiar little creatures, but there is logic behind the madness if we can just better understand how each child is experiencing the world around them.