Surviving the 2nd child - it's possible!

Our second child turned two!!!!  Hallelujah!  The second birthday for the first child was pretty uneventful but for the second child, the 2nd birthday was bigger than the first.  It was a huge milestone for mom and dad.  Life at home doesn't completely suck any more!

For those of you with multiple children, you understand.  But if you aren't there yet, let me explain myself.  The second child as an individual is definitely easier to care for than the first child as an individual.  You know what you're doing.  You know how to use the gear.  You know how to deal with crying babies and temper tantrums.

BUT you are now caring for two kids and all of the issues that occur between them because there are two.  Jealousy, sharing (or lack thereof), being gentle and not killing the little one, etc.  And caring for two means you don't have the ability to focus on one, which for most adults is very stressful.  It takes time to learn to cope when both children have needs at the same time that you can't meet.

For us, we had sleep deprivation until our son (2nd child) was 7 months.  Then, he started crawling at 8 months and boy, did he move.  Our efforts to keep him from killing himself required 80% of our time, which consequently, heightened our older daughter's jealousy and anxiety.  So then, we found ourselves spending every moment keeping the baby alive or trying to appease our older stressed and jealous daughter.  Not going to lie.  It was rough - had I really known how hard it was going to be, I might have chickened out.

BUT I'm here to tell anyone who is in this boat or will be soon - it does get better!  Our son now has near death experiences far less often.  We can keep doors open in our house.  We can mostly unload the dishwasher in his presence.  He is more independent.  He can talk and understand us.  He can even share.   All of these things help calm our older child as well.  Yesterday, both of our children played by themselves with our son's new train table in his room while I folded laundry and my husband cooked dinner upstairs.  It felt amazing!!!!!  We have envisioned this moment for almost 5 years and now it's here.

Having two is great in the long run.  So if you are in a rough spot, hang in there and know it gets easier!  And that vision of the happy family can come together.