Should Everyone Be Invited to the Party?

My daughter's birthday is coming up soon and every year it seems the party just gets bigger and bigger.  By that, I mean we invite more and more people.  I should mention that my daughter is turning 5.  That's right 5.  According to my mom, that means we should invite 5 kids (number of the age) to the party.  Well, in modern day world, it means we have to invite 20+ kids to the 5th birthday.

Why is that you ask?  Because it's not okay to leave anyone out.  There are 17 kids in my daughter's class, and we do know other people that don't go to her school, too.  So that brings us to 20+.
I feel very comfortable saying that's ridiculous.

So why do we do it you ask?  Because no one wants to be the mean person who leaves a child out.

So I decided to take note of all of the inadvertent consequences that come with this "invite everyone policy."  Here's my list:

1.  The parties are very expensive.  No one wants 20+ four-year-olds in their home.  So you rent out a play gym or bounce house to accommodate everyone.  This will also include all of the parents who then must attend to supervise, because you sure can't supervise 20+ kids.  And then, since the kids are doing something very active, you must feed everyone a meal.  So now you are buying lunch/dinner for 40-50 people (most of whom you don't even know).  Not to mention party favors for 20+.  From our experience, the average birthday costs $500-600.  That's ridiculous.

2.  Because the parties are very expensive, it puts a huge burden on those who can't afford to spend $500 on a birthday party.  Then, those parents are forced to overspend, come up with a cheaper option (which no one will attend, because it's usually far away), or just not give their kids a party.  Again, that's ridiculous and so unfortunate.

3.  The birthday child gets an insane number of gifts (20+).  That is completely unnecessary and really sets the bar high for all future birthdays.  Let's face it, it spoils the birthday kids.

4.  All of these birthday parties are a huge burden on families.  Do you know how many birthday parties we get invited to?  Well, at least 17 per child.  I have two children.  That's at least 34 per year.  That means if we attended them all, we would spend 34 of our 52 weekends a year at a birthday party instead of doing family things.  And if I spent $20 for each gift, that would equal $680 a year for birthday presents!  Need I say - ridiculous.

So I for one say, if your child is really a friend with my child, then by all means invite my child to the party.  But if they are just kids in the same class, PLEASE don't invite my kid to the party.  I assure you that my child and our family will be okay.  We won't be offended.  In fact, I will be thankful.  Of course, be kind about how you distribute the invitations.  Teach your child to be kind about talking about the party.  Use these as teaching opportunities.  But let's do away with the policy that everyone has to be invited.  The cons far outweigh the pros.